My Heaven, My Hell
by mcknz.blck
Summary: The life of Lauren Mallory is turned upside down, for better or worse, thanks to the supernatural world that revolves around Bella Swan.
1. In My Life

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

* * *

In My Life

"_Some are dead and some are living  
__In my life I've loved them all"_

Prologue

* * *

This was not how Lauren saw herself at 18.

Known as the self-absorbed bitch, one of the prettiest girls at school that had a temper to match. People tended to shy away from her. Always admired from afar. No one ever bothered to actually get to know her — apart from the gossip that circled around her — to everyone around she was a complete and total stranger with a beautiful face.

Jessica Stanley was what she once could've considered a close friend — even when Lauren thought it was because she was popular — and although Jessica was popular in her own right, Jess assumed that two popular people equaled two best friends.

Now seniors they were still considered the top of the food chain at Forks High. To an outsider their lives were wonderfully perfect. Boys wanted to date them and girls wanted to be them.

While everything seemed great underneath it was all coming down to a boiling point.

* * *

Lauren was born in Forks, Washington. Her parents — both doctors — married as soon as they finished their residencies in Seattle. Her grandparents from her father's side lived in Forks. Patricia, Lauren's mother, was scheduled for delivery the first week of February, but went into labor a few days early while visiting her in-laws.

All things considered, her mother didn't care where Lauren was born as long as she was healthy. Her daddy told her once that they had created the most beautiful baby girl in the world — ivory skin with a tuff of white-blonde hair, rosy cheeks and green-gray eyes — looking as delicate as a porcelain doll.

She grew up being an only child. Right after she was born her father, Christopher, decided that one child was enough, even though her mother had always wanted to have at least three children. This was the source of several fights that her father ended winning when her mother realized that being a doctor left her with barely enough time to take care of Lauren.

Aside from that, Lauren thought that she led a happy life. Being part of what she considered a perfect family. Two successful and loving parents, weekly visits to her grandparents — who dotted on her every whim — birthdays and holidays spent together, somehow both her parents managed to be present. Lauren couldn't have asked for more.

It all came to a screeching halt almost a month before her ninth birthday. Her mother received a phone call from Lauren's grandfather when she and her mother were celebrating Christmas with her mother's family in Appleton, Wisconsin; it was the first holiday her family hadn't spent together because her daddy had to stay back home working.

It was the day before New Year's Eve. She would forever remember that day. Her mother's crying face was burned in her memory. Her mother had taken her to their room and told Lauren that her daddy had been sick for a while and now he was going to live in heaven and that he wouldn't be staying with them anymore. Her memory became a blur after that. Somehow they ended up living with her grandparents in Forks, her mother taking a job at Forks Hospital. They didn't need the money but her mother insisted that she had to keep herself busy. She recalled her grandfather telling her that they were welcome to stay for as long as they wanted, that the house was now theirs too.

Since her mother was rarely home, her grandfather became like a second father to her. Anything she wanted she got — it didn't matter that she was his only grandchild. Her room was full of stuffed animals and dolls. Every time he traveled to Seattle he came home with a new toy, or all kinds of sweets for her.

Her grandmother on the other hand became the voice of reason. Always trying to tell her grandfather not to spoil her — although her pleas were half-hearted and she always had a slight twinkle in her eyes. Her mother kept reminding Lauren that it was the grandparents' job to spoil their grandkids rotten.

And once again her happiness was cut short. While her grandfather portrayed the image of a very healthy man, he suffered from diabetes. It still came as a surprise when the result from one of his regular checkups came back positive for cancer. In fact he was completely riddled with it. The doctors were baffled over how it had never showed up in previous tests. They theorized that the diabetes had dulled the pain the cancer was supposed to cause and that it had developed extremely fast for them detect sooner.

It all went downhill from there. Her grandfather was moved to a hospital in Seattle because her grandmother wanted to get him the best treatment available money could afford, while she and her mother had to stay back in Forks. After three months of painful tests and treatments the doctors concluded that there was nothing else to do but keep him comfortable. Her grandmother brought him home.

Lauren would spend the afternoons with him in his room, watching TV or discussing her history homework — her grandfather considered himself a history buff, always telling her little tidbits or unknown facts — while he smoked from his pipe or the occasional cigarette. Her grandmother hated when he smoked — a habit he had picked when he was young and refused to quit — and would leave the room now that he was in permanent bed rest.

Lauren tried to spend every waking moment with him, he somehow managed to always make her feel safe and comfortable, she was his pumpkin — it appeared unconventional pet names were a Mallory family trait, her father had named her penguin after the way she waddled everywhere when she learned how to walk — and would sometimes spend the night in his old recliner in his room. Her grandmother didn't have the heart to tell her to sleep in her own room.

One cool April morning her world crashed and burned when she found his bed empty. Lauren felt a sense of déjà-vu when her mother led her to her room and told her that her grandfather was now with her daddy. That day she understood the meaning of death, it came as a big blow when she realized she was never going to see her father or grandfather ever again. She was still very young when her father died — she still was — but two years seemed enough for her mind to grasp the painful concept.

She locked herself in her room and cried for days, cried for both of her lost loved ones. She threw a tantrum of epic proportions when her mother denied her the chance to say goodbye to her beloved grandfather at his funeral because she was too young to attend.

Several times she found herself wondering what had she done so wrong for God to take her father and then her grandfather away from her. She had loved them both so very much. With this idea came a sense of loss and grief that lodged deep inside her heart. She recalled her mother telling her that time healed all wounds. Lauren was sure it was a lie she was told to appease her tortured mind. She couldn't see a time when it would ever stop hurting.

* * *

They stayed with her grandmother for less than a year after her grandfather's death. By that time her mother was fed up with her grandmother's attitude. She became quite bitter after the loss of both her husband and only son. Although she still treated Lauren the same way she always did, there was an air of sorrow always surrounding her. The attitude towards her mother on the other hand was downright mean. Her grandmother once told Lauren that parents weren't meant to bury their children. She didn't blame her for being overwhelmed with that kind of pain.

After everything that happened, Lauren became a shy and withdrawn child. She was far from the bubbly, ever-chatty little girl she used to be. It didn't help that the kids at school would make fun of her and treat her like she was a leper. They say kids are sometimes very cruel, not knowing the extent of the damage they can inflict on another human being.

Her mother noticed that she had trouble making friends at school and started getting worried, so she decided to take Lauren to see a psychologist. Lauren didn't see the point. She knew that there was nothing wrong with her; it was the other kids that had problems with her, not the other way around. Still her mother insisted and Lauren went along with her. After a year with constant therapy she appeared to be ready to move on and make friends but nobody at school wanted to be around her.

* * *

By the time Lauren was thirteen her mother decided to take a year off to spend it with their family in Appleton. The change of scenery was apparently all that Lauren needed, making her come out of her shell; on the outside it seemed she had reverted to the girl she was before all the tragedy befell her life. Being the new kid helped quite a bit. She made friends with about everyone in her year; she got invited to parties and sleepovers. Even when some of the wounds were starting to close, the pain and sorrow was still there. Still she made an effort to be happy. She really tried.

After the year was up, her mother wanted to head back to her job in Forks. Lauren threw a tantrum that would have made any toddler proud. She screamed and begged her mother to let her stay. She felt dread just imagining going back to a place where she had no friends and where she knew everyone would look down on her for not having a father. Still her mother wasn't moved by her pleas and took Lauren straight back with her to Forks. Then and there she decided she wasn't going to let anyone make her feel bad about herself.

Now that she was fourteen — halfway to fifteen — her body had hit puberty. She looked somewhat different but still the same. She had lost all her baby fat, leaving her with a slender body with a hint of curves, her white-blonde hair reached beyond her shoulder blades with a slight wave, she had ivory skin with a hint of a blush, big green-gray eyes, a slight turned up nose and pouty rosy lips. She still had the delicate look of a porcelain doll.

Her slight change in appearance coupled up with hormonal fifteen year old boys were enough to make her the most sought after girl in school. _Now_ everyone wanted to hang out with her. She, on the other hand didn't forget years of being treated like an outsider. Even when she behaved as if they were the scum beneath her shoes, people still flocked towards her.

That's how she found herself being 'best friends' with Jessica Stanley and ended up dating Mike Newton for over three months of her freshman year.

* * *

When the school year ended, Lauren thought she was going to spend the summer at her relatives' house in Appleton. But all her plans of visiting friends went down the drain when a new family moved to Forks from Alaska, or somewhere along the lines.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen took the job of head physician at the hospital and her mother _apparently_ had to stay and help the new doctor. Lauren hadn't met them in person but the town was on intense gossip mode. New people rarely came to live to Forks so she thought the reaction was kind of expected.

She heard from her mother that _young_ Dr. Cullen was married and had adopted five kids. Two were related to his wife Esme, twins, or so her mother had said. The five of them were to start school in September with everyone else.

If only she'd known of all the drama that was about to be unleashed, she would have run straight back to Appleton, her mother be damned.

* * *

**A/N: the songs used as titles and quotes are from LP's I found belonged to my parents, specially my dad's. Links to the songs can be found in my profile.**


	2. She's Always a Woman

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

* * *

She's Always a Woman

"_She can kill with a smile  
__She can wound with her eyes  
__She can ruin your faith with her casual lies  
__And she only reveals what she wants you to see"_

* * *

"Lauren honey, breakfast is ready," her mother screamed from the kitchen. She was almost done getting ready for the first day of school after winter break of her junior year.

"I'm almost done mom!" she yelled form her bathroom. She tied her hair in a loose ponytail and looked at herself one last time in the mirror. She was wearing a dark green sweater, jeans and chocolate-brown knee-high boots. Seeing everything in place she went to grab her bag from the second floor library and headed downstairs to the kitchen.

She kissed her mother good morning and sat down at the table while Annie, their cook and housekeeper laid a plate with waffles on the table.

"Thanks Annie, this looks delicious," she told her with a small smile.

"Eat everything Christie, you still look too thin!" she said on her way to the kitchen. Annie Wilkes had lived with them since her mother bought the house after moving out of her grandmother's. Annie took to calling her Christie after her mother yelled at her for something she had done and used her full name. Christie was actually her mother's maiden name — her parents had decided to use it as her middle name so she would carry both their surnames — though she rarely used it. She thought Lauren was more than enough.

After she finished breakfast she said bye to her mother and Annie, picked her schoolbag and went to the foyer taking her cream colored coat and a scarf from the closet, she grabbed her car keys while she donned the coat and closed the door behind her.

She texted Jessica to let her know that she was on her way to pick her up. She arrived 10 minutes later honking twice. After a moment Jess came out and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Hey Lauren," she said hugging her. "How was your Christmas break?"

"Same as last year," Lauren always tried to keep details from minimum to nonexistent, "Yours?"

"Same as always, we all went to Seattle to visit some of mom's relatives," she told her while fixing her hair in the car mirror.

"So, did you hear," she said turning to look at Lauren, "Chief Swan's daughter is starting school today."

"Really?" she said with faked interest, "Why in the middle of the school year?"

"I don't know, though I heard from my mom that she arrived a few days ago."

"Well, lets hope she's really ugly or all the guys will be fawning over her," Lauren told her with a serious look on her face, "Who am I kidding, even if she's horrendous she'll get all the attention because she's new."

"You got that right," Jessica said with a slight hint of jealousy, "Either way I think being friends with her could be… beneficial."

"Oh, I have no intention of being friends with her, and after the fiasco with the Cullens a year and a half ago, you shouldn't either," Lauren said with a pointed look.

"How was I supposed to know that they were all a bunch of stuck-up anti-social freaks?" Jessica whined.

"Yeah, but you kept pestering them until they told you to leave them alone," she said laughing, "Just leave it alone Jess, in a month or so nobody will even remember her name."

"How do you know?" Jessica said, "For all we know she's like super model gorgeous and all the guys will spend all their time drooling over her."

"You're so melodramatic Jess," Lauren laughed.

"Said the drama-queen!" Jessica all but screeched.

"I'm so not a drama-queen!" she said with a loud cry. They kept arguing playfully until they arrived at school.

She parked the dark blue mustang in her usual spot and killed the engine. Getting out she closed the door and opened the back one to take out her bag.

She began walking towards the school building. She wasn't planning on talking to the new girl. She would be getting enough attention as it was. Not talking to her didn't mean not talking _about_ her. She knew she sounded petty and mean, but she wasn't a friendly sunny side up kind of girl. She was a bitch and everyone knew it, and she wasn't planning on changing anytime soon.

* * *

She and Jessica walked to English and hung their coats on the hooks beside the door. She noticed that Mr. Mason was already in the classroom. They headed to their usual seats chatting while the classroom filled. When everybody went quiet Lauren looked to the front and there she stood, _the new girl_.

She didn't look like anything special to her, long dark brown hair, brown eyes, and pale almost translucent skin. Plain. And what in the world was she wearing? Even so, that didn't stop the curious glances.

The new girl walked down the row of desks and sat in the back, trying to lose herself in her desk. Mr. Mason started talking and Lauren immediately zoned out and started doodling in her notebook. She was startled when the bell rang and everybody stood and headed towards the door. Lauren grabbed her coat pulling it on, dreading going outside to de cold and humid weather. She heard Eric Yorkie ask the new girl what class she had next. Lauren didn't catch her response. Oh how she hoped she wouldn't be in her next class.

As it turned out she had another class with her before lunch. The teacher asked her to talk about herself in front of the whole room. Super embarrassing. Lauren didn't envy her one bit at that moment. Talking about herself in front of a crowd made her want to puke, and it probably wouldn't be a pretty sight.

The bell rang signaling the beginning of lunch hour. She got out of the classroom and headed towards the cafeteria. Everyone had the same lunch hour being as it was a small school. She wished there were different hours because right now she wasn't really hungry.

As she went in she noticed it was really crowded, as usual. She looked at one of the far end tables, there they where, the Cullens, sitting together with the tables that surrounded them empty, no one wanting to sit close to them.

At the beginning of her sophomore year when they were new, everyone wanted to go and talk to them, but at the same time nobody really dared. It was as if they repelled people, which was quite strange. They all had this mysterious air around them and all of them were excessively attractive — like supermodel kind of attractive.

It became a scandal when the student population found out that they were together as in couples, it took forever for people to forget or talk about something else. Just one of them was actually single and every girl in school, hell every female in town for that matter learned quickly that he didn't date, well everyone except Jessica. If he did indeed date, it wasn't with anyone from around Forks.

Lauren located her usual table and pulled a chair sitting next to Mike. He started telling her something about History class that she had no interest in but still tried to look like she was listening.

After a few minutes Jessica walked in with the new girl. Jessica introduced her to all the people that were sitting at the table, but it looked as if she was really uncomfortable and wasn't even making an effort to try and get to know them. Still all of them were giving her their undivided attention. Lauren gave her a curious glance. She was really strange for a girl who said that came from Phoenix. Not that she'd ever been there, but she obviously knew that it was sunny and warm. Yet the new girl looked as if she had yet to meet the sun.

Lauren heard her ask about the Cullens and snickered. _Here we go again._ Jessica told her all the 'sordid' details as if it were a secret or something. Lauren thought that it was just going to make the new girl more curious, plus Jessica made it sound like they lived in a hick town where everyone gossiped about everyone and everything. _Well it actually was a hick town_ she laughed to herself.

And then the strangest thing happened. Mr. I don't date looked at the new addition. _Wow_, _that's never happened before_. It looked as if he knew that they were talking about him when he smirked slightly. _Weird_.

* * *

The rest of the day went by in a blur. Lauren had Biology and then Gym and she would be finished for the day. During Biology, Bella, as the new girl liked to be called, almost fell in front of Lauren's desk. She let out a giggle. _Talk about two left feet_. It didn't surprise her that she got to sit with Edward Cullen. He was the only one in the group without a partner.

When the bell rang he was the first one out even though he was sitting in the back of the classroom. _Hmm_, she wondered _what had the new girl done to the poor guy?_ No matter, not that she actually cared.

She walked to gym with Jess, went to the locker room and changed into a pair of red shorts and a white short-sleeved shirt. She thanked whoever was up there that the school's heating system was working. Mr. Clapp made Bella sit the class out saying it was a one-time thing. They played a few games of volleyball until the bell rang. She went to the locker room and changed back to her regular clothes and told Jessica that she'd wait for her in the car.

Lauren started the car as Jess climbed into the passenger seat and drove out the parking lot.

"So…" she said looking over at Jess. "What's the verdict on the new girl?"

"So far nothing special, she seemed kind of fake to me," she said.

"How so?" Lauren wanted to know if she noticed the same things as her.

"Well I felt like I was talking to myself half the time and the only moment she looked like she was actually listening was when she asked about the Cullens. I felt like she was judging me as if I was dumb or something. I mean I tried being nice to her because she's new and doesn't know anybody and what do I get? Ignored and judged. I really, really don't like her," Jessica finished her tirade with a huff.

"Told you so," Lauren said with a smug grin on her face.

"Don't be such a bitch Lauren!" She half screamed half laughed.

"That's nothing new," she snorted.

"But seriously, she looked like she didn't want to sit with us, or anyone for that matter. It looks like we got ourselves another anti-social," Lauren said in a slight singsong tone, "Just let me know how it goes with the stuck-up part."

"As soon as I find out I'll let you know," Jessica assured her.

"Good," Lauren laughed to herself.

She thought that even if Bella didn't want to be Jessica's friend she would still try to attach herself to Bella. It was her freshman year all over again, when Lauren was being mean to everyone, Jessica was the only one that pestered her to the point that Lauren became fed up admitting defeat by letting Jessica hang out with her. The same thing happened when the Cullens arrived, although that went a little different. It was still a sore subject for Jessica.

* * *

After dropping Jessica at her house, Lauren drove straight to hers. When she arrived she saw that her mom wasn't home yet. Sometimes she would come home early but normally she pulled extra shifts. She knew that she didn't have to work, but she liked to keep herself busy most of the time. She'd been thinking for a while about what she was going to do after graduation. Cornell was her first choice, she thought about majoring in government and then head off to Law school. Her grandfather had been a very good lawyer up until he retired and he and her grandmother moved to Forks. It was a good thing that she kept her grades up and took several AP classes, even if she didn't advertise that she did indeed study.

She went up to the library and dropped her bag. Then headed to her bathroom to take a shower. She liked gym class, it gave her a good workout, but she hated sweating. When she got out of the shower she wrapped a towel around herself and brushed her hair. After applying her favorite lotion she went to her closet and pulled a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt, finished drying herself off and got dressed.

After that she went downstairs to the kitchen. Even though she missed living in her grandparents' house, she found that this place felt like home. It was a Queen Anne style house that her mother had bought after it was renovated. Lauren had to admit it was quite large even though only her mother, Annie and her lived there. It was surrounded by forest and didn't have any close neighbors for several miles. Her mother had made sure because she loved her privacy _oh so very much_, not that it actually bothered Lauren. It was really peaceful out there.

Her room was on the second floor; it was decorated in ivory white with the wall behind her queen-sized bed painted a deep red with dark hardwood floors. She had ivory white nightstands beside her bed and a matching white rug underneath it, there were also two olive green stuffed armchairs and a small white end table between them near the bay window that overlooked the forest. The horizontal blinds in the window were the same olive green as the chairs while the drapes were the same shade as the walls and furniture.

At one time her room was decorated in different shades of pink, everything was pink, from the drapes to the bedspread, which was now cream with green pillows. She had redecorated when she came back from Appleton two and a half years ago. While at some point in time pink had suited her personality just fine, she was in need of a change and her mother had paid for everything that she had wanted — spared no expenses — as some sort of apology for dragging her back to Forks.

When she arrived at the kitchen Annie was nowhere to be found. She wondered where she'd gone this time. She found a plate of food in the fridge. _Oh thank the gods._ It was always the same; her appetite peaked every time after taking gym class. She took the plate out and set it on the microwave. After it was heated she grabbed a bottle of water and went to the living room, sat on the floor and turned on the TV. She surfed the channels for something to watch, finally settling on a Friends marathon. She ate between laughs, trying not to spill anything. After she finished she headed back to the kitchen, left the plate on the sink and went to the library to work on her homework.

This was pretty much her routine on weekdays. Wake up, get ready for school, have breakfast with her mother, school, eat dinner alone most of the times, homework and finally going to bed. Sometimes she would jog through the trail in the woods behind her house, but only when she needed to clear her head. It was kind of boring, she knew. But it was heaven compared to what was waiting for her.


	3. Time

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

* * *

Time

_"But time  
__Keeps flowing like a river  
__To the sea"_

* * *

The days went by in much the same manner. Following the same routine. At school Bella hanged out with them during lunch. Lauren ignored her every time. There was something about her that gave her a weird vibe; she just couldn't quite put her finger on it. Mike always seemed to be hanging on her every word and Lauren didn't think Jessica was very happy with this new development; still Jess tried to make Bella a part of their group. She didn't know why Jess even bothered.

* * *

When classes were over for the day she took her time by her locker making sure she had everything in her bag. By the time she was heading to her car she saw a commotion by Bella's truck. It appeared that Tyler Crowley almost smashed Bella to bits. She heard someone near her say that the pavement had some ice and when he took a turn he lost control of his van. Lauren saw Jessica standing near Tyler who seemed to be ok. Just as she reached her car Jess mouthed a 'call you later'. Lauren just nodded, not wanting to get involved in all the drama.

She drove home and went strait to take a shower. Later while she was in the middle of finishing her Calculus homework her cell phone rang.

"Jess," she answered on the second ring, "What the hell happened?"

Jessica related everything to Lauren, down to the very last detail, "—and they took Bella to the hospital, but she's fine," she said, "Edward Cullen pushed her out of the way."

"Seriously?" she was a bit skeptical. Who would have thought he'd come to her rescue. Then again the fact that they didn't socialize with anybody didn't mean they would let somebody get hurt.

"I know, I think she was shocked as well," she sounded really exited, as if it was some sort of prize to be rescued by a guy, "Poor Tyler kept apologizing all the way to the hospital."

"It wasn't really his fault," Lauren said remembering how Tyler — even though he looked fine — was as pale as a ghost in the parking lot.

"I told him that, but he wouldn't listen," she whined.

Just then she heard her mother opening the door downstairs.

"Listen Jess, I'll talk to you tomorrow at school," her mother was home early which was rather unusual. "Mom just arrived."

"Ok, I'll see you at school," she said.

Lauren closed her phone and went downstairs still thinking about Tyler. He must have felt really bad about what happened. Then her thoughts turned to his appearance. Even then he looked kind of cute and she liked guys that played sports. She admitted — if only to herself — that she may have had a bit of a crush. Walking into the kitchen she all but forgot about Tyler, kissing her mother on the cheek she went to the sink to wash her hands.

"How was your day honey?" her mother asked sitting down at the table.

"It was ok," Lauren eyed her mother, looking for any sign and not finding any that would clue her in on why she was home early. She took two plates from one of the cabinets and placed them down on the table, "Though there was an accident in the parking lot after school."

"I heard," she finished placing the silverware, "Something involving Chief Swan's daughter."

"Yeah, Tyler almost hit her with his van," Lauren told her mother as Annie came to set the food on the table, "Dr. Cullen's son pushed her out of the way."

"Poor thing, she was very lucky he was near," her mother said with a wistful smile after taking a bite of food, "Carlisle was the one who took the case when she arrived, Chief Swan came a while later to take her home, I've never seen him look that worried in my life."

_Yeah poor thing_, she thought icily. They ate in silence while her mother went through some case files. She kept thinking what Chief Swan might have felt when they told him about the accident. She wouldn't wish that on anyone even if she loathed his daughter. She knew quite well the grief that came after losing someone you loved dearly. Her mind drifted through memories of her daddy and grandfather, making the pain flare through her chest. It was never really gone; it was just living below the surface like a river, ever constant. Everyone told her that the pain would go away eventually. She was still waiting on that one.

After she finished dinner she went straight to her room, homework forgotten. She was so distracted that trying to finish it would be near impossible. She hadn't realized how extremely tired she was until she eyed her bed. She changed into a pair of cotton pants and a loose t-shirt and went to sleep replaying memories she thought were long forgotten.

* * *

She was at her old house in Seattle. It was her fourth birthday and her father hadn't arrived yet. She was already in her pink pajamas and her mother was trying to put her down to sleep. Lauren remembered being quite upset because she wanted to wait for her daddy to get home. Suddenly she looked up and there he was standing by the doorframe of her room with a big smile on his face and a pink tricycle with a big white bow on top in his hands. She ran up to him while he laid the gift on the floor. He took her in his arms and spun her around, then held her tightly, whispering _'happy birthday Penguin'_ and placed a kiss on the top of her head _'I love you so much'._

Lauren woke up gasping. The images of the dream still fresh. It had been a long time since she had one of those dreams. Probably since before she came back from Appleton two and a half years ago. She took a deep breath shaking her head and gave her room a once over as if to make sure she wasn't dreaming anymore before heading to the bathroom to get ready for school.

* * *

Lauren hated the girl's choice spring dance. She wasn't looking forward to it, inviting a guy to a dance was not her thing. Jessica was contemplating about asking Mike today, though he seemed to be waiting for someone else to invite him. _I'll take three guesses, _she thought with sarcasm. She didn't want to be anywhere near Jess when she found out. _It will probably become a blood bath_ she grimaced.

It turned out she was right — well, not about the blood bath part — or at least she was almost sure she was right because Jessica asked Mike and he turned her down, but everyone knew that he still didn't have a date. So Lauren supposed he was waiting to see if Bella asked him. _What a_ _total waste of time_. The day was going by too slow for her liking. She wished she could go home already. She thought about faking some type of illness but then decided against it because they would probably call her mother and she never got away with anything with her mother being a doctor and all.

* * *

_Finally,_ she skipped all the way to her car, she was so ready to head home. She got out of her usual spot and realized that there was a car jam in the parking lot. She shifted the car to park and waited, tapping her fingers to the rhythm of some song that was playing on the radio. She was mentally going through a list of guys she could ask to the stupid dance. At the moment Tyler was at the top of the list. He was funny and really good-looking. He was also taller than her, high heals included, and he was slightly built, she thought with a smirk, _that's definitely a plus_.

It appeared she invoked him because he was getting out of his new car. She heard his parents had to sell the van in pieces. She realized where he was heading. _You got to be kidding me_ she fumed. _Why was he going over to Bella's truck?_ Lauren was suddenly filled with dread, she remembered Jessica saying something to her earlier about some of the guys wanting to ask Bella to the dance. It looked kind of desperate since the girls where supposed to be the ones that had to ask the guys, not the other way around. But it hadn't even crossed her mind that Tyler would be one of those. Lauren hoped she was just being paranoid.

Tyler walked back to his car with a disappointed look on his face. _Oh no_. If he did ask Bella then he was definitely off the list. Still she had to make sure that he actually did ask Bella. She wasn't planning on being anybody's second choice. _Ever_. It was enough coming in second place to her mother's _love_ for her job.

Finally the cars stared moving and she drove home. When she got there the house was empty. _Why am I not surprised?_ She looked around contemplating whether or not to make herself something to eat but she had lost what little appetite she had on her way over. She settled instead on watching a movie while she tried to do some homework.

She was so absorbed watching _A Knight's Tale_ that she almost missed the house phone ringing. She ran to answer it.

"Yeah?" she asked while still keeping an eye on the TV.

"Guess who I'm going to the dance with?" Jessica's exited voice came through the phone.

"Hello to you too Jess," Lauren replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Aha yeah, guess who I'm going to the dance with?" God, it was like speaking to a deaf monkey. And was she really asking her that? She was probably one of the most obvious people on the planet.

"I don't know Jess, Mike?" she just heard a squeal and moved the phone away from her ear. She wasn't fast enough because now she was hearing a slight ringing. Jessica kept squealing and talking a mile a minute. Lauren was having a very difficult time trying to understand what she was talking about. Then she heard her mention Tyler.

"What about Tyler?" Jessica stopped mid rant. Lauren hoped she wasn't going to tell her that he was going with Bella.

"You should ask him," she said, "He still doesn't have a date and I already told Angela to invite Eric and she said that it was a great idea and that the six of us should go together."

"You really think I should ask him?" Lauren kept thinking that he probably wanted to go with Bella and she wasn't planning on embarrassing herself. She may not be a shy person when it came down to talking to guys and was actually very popular, but she didn't handle rejection very well.

"Yeah, he really likes you," she said offhandedly followed by more squealing. He really liked her? Now that was a big fat lie. He was just like the other guys at school. Watching the new girl's every move, even the ones that already had girlfriends. But still it was either ask someone or stay home. And Tyler was one of the good-looking ones. She guessed she just answered her own question.

"Guess I'll give him a call later," Lauren wasn't really looking forward to it. Jessica kept talking but Lauren's mind was miles away. She interrupted Jessica telling her some lame excuse to get off the phone. Lauren hanged up and sat down in the living room. Heath Ledger forgotten for the moment. She was contemplating on whether or not to call Tyler right now. Or should she just ask him at school? Did she really want to go to the stupid dance in the first place?

Her mind made up she headed to the kitchen and grabbed a can of soda from the fridge. She took the phone and went back to the living room. She dialed Tyler's number before she lost her nerve. He answered on the second ring. She invited him to the dance and he said yes. No use beating around the bush. They talked for a while about nothing in particular.

After she hung up she went back to the kitchen to find something to eat. She was hungry now that she wasn't a ball of nerves. She ate a bowl of cereal in the kitchen counter, when she finished she rinsed the plate and left in the sink. That should keep her hunger at bay until dinner. She decided to go upstairs to the library and went about finishing some homework. After a while she thought that she needed to clear her head a bit and settled on going for a run down the trail in the forest. She grabbed a pair of pants and a sweatshirt, changed, grabbed her ipod and went out the backdoor.

Nothing. That's what she was thinking at the moment. That's why she took to running sometimes, to think about nothing. She figured that maybe if she ran for a while that she would be to exhausted to dream at night. It had been working since that they she dreamed about her father. She hoped it worked. She knew that her dreams weren't nightmares, just memories of a time when she was happy, carefree, and above all complete. They were good memories but they also brought out the pain. Even when it was always there, it was as if it was muted somehow. But when the memories came to the surface so did the pain. So she really hoped it worked tonight.

She finished the trail in the woods and headed back to her house. It seemed that while she was out running Annie left a plate of food for her. It looked like her mother was taking an extra shift _again_. She ate in silence and then went upstairs to take a shower and went straight to bed. She didn't dream anything that night. Or maybe she just didn't remember.

* * *

Lauren woke up the next morning feeling well rested. She went through her usual routine of getting ready for school. When she was done she gave herself the customary once over in the mirror. At least she looked better than yesterday. Feeling quite pleased with herself she headed downstairs to the kitchen. She said good morning to her mother and Annie and sat to eat breakfast.

"At what time did you get home last night?" she asked her mother while she finished pouring milk on her cereal.

"Quite late," her mother said while she read the newspaper, "Some nurse messed up some charts and they gave a patient the wrong antibiotics, which he seemed to be allergic to and caused him to go into cardiac arrest, but we got him stabilized after a few minutes."

"I'm glad everything went ok," she once thought about becoming a doctor like her parents but keeping a cool head in those kind of situations wasn't her thing. She probably would've broken down crying hysterically closely followed by a nervous breakdown. She was definitely a drama queen.

After she finished breakfast, she wished her mother good luck with her patients and went to the foyer to grab her coat and car keys. She got in the car and drove to school. She wondered why her mother always — well almost always — took extra shifts when they lived in a small town. It wasn't as if there was extreme traffic at the hospital for her to take the extra hours. And when she actually was home she was usually going through case files. Deep down she guessed that either she needed to stay occupied or she just didn't want to spend time with her own daughter because she was a reminder of what she'd lost.

Her grandfather once told her that she was the female version of her dad, that if she looked at his baby pictures they could pass off as twins. But still it was no excuse for her mother's avoidance. Didn't she know that she needed her? That she had lost loved ones to? She was the kid in this farce of a family; her mother was the one that was supposed to be there for her — buying her anything she wanted wasn't a demonstration of love — her mother was supposed to take care of her, she was supposed to know when she felt down and depressed. That was long gone. Once upon a time her mother noticed those kinds of things, now she was barely ever home. And people wondered why she acted the way she did.

* * *

When she arrived at school Jessica cornered her as she got out of her car.

"Did you ask Tyler to the dance?" she all but shouted.

"Yeah and he said yes," Lauren held her head high still feeling her cheeks grow hot. Why did she have to yell? She had enough with people talking about her because she was rude to them. This was just giving them free ammo. Again she wasn't paying attention to a word Jess was saying. _What was she babbling about now anyway? _She tried to focus.

"—Port Angeles together," she was now looking at Lauren waiting for an answer. _Oops_.

"What about Port Angeles?" she was really trying to listen while they walked to first period.

"I said, we should go dress shopping to Port Angeles," she repeated with an annoyed tone.

"Where you even listening to a word I was saying?" _oh she was mad_. What exactly did she expect when she went on one of her tirades? It was hard to concentrate when she was talking.

"Yeah, just lost it for a bit thinking about what kind of dress I should wear," _That should keep her entertained,_ Lauren sniggered. Jessica just squealed. _Yep, totally worked_.

Lauren let her babble away. Down the hallway they caught up with Mike and Eric; they were talking about how the weather this weekend was supposed to be clear and sunny, with no rain in sight. They spotted them, Mike said something to Eric and then came over.

"Hey, we're getting a group together to go to first beach this Saturday, you guys in?" he beamed at them. Mike was like a puppy. He got exited over everything and it took little to keep him happy. Lauren remembered when they dated those brief months back in freshman year. Although it was a mutual breakup, towards the end she felt suffocated. He was just so happy _all_ the damn time. It was ridiculous because it was that part of his personality that drew her to him in the first place. In the end that was what killed the relationship. Maybe she was just making excuses. Or she sabotaged something that could've been good for her on the long run. She gave Mike a once over and gave a slight snort. Breaking up was definitely the right thing to do. He was always so happy — like a puppy — and was also as easily distracted by new shiny toys — _again_ just like a puppy.

Jessica was looking at her with a pointed look. _Damn_ she zoned out again.

"I'll think about it," it wasn't hard taking a guess just by looking at Mike's questioning face, "I have to ask my mom and it still depends on the weather," Lauren thought a trip to the beach would be nice, as long as Mike didn't invite Bella.

English went by in a blur. She and Jessica walked out the classroom and heard Mike and Eric talking to Bella about the trip, and she reluctantly agreed to go. _Oh no_. Then again why should she stop hanging out with _her_ friends because Bella decided to go? Bella didn't even like them. When she sat with them during lunch she would always get the vibe that she didn't want to be there. Lauren still didn't see what was so special about her, because even though Jessica said that she didn't like her, she still tried to be her friend. _Color me confused_.

* * *

Lauren arrived at the cafeteria and sat down at their usual table. Jessica and Bella were the last to arrive. Today Bella looked distracted, well more so than usual. Then Jess leaned over and whispered something to Bella that made her eyes bug out, looking around wildly. Then Jessica whispered something else to her, Lauren was trying really hard to listen in but Jess decided now was the time to speak in hushed tones unlike what she did when Lauren arrived at school in the morning. Suddenly Bella got up, said she needed to know what he wanted and gathered her things form the table, leaving like a bat out of hell. _What the… _She looked to where Bella was heading.

_This has to be some kind of sick joke!_ She went to sit with Edward Cullen, who for the first time _ever_ wasn't sitting with his family. She thought that maybe the whole school was in shock. Everyone was watching them quietly with some sort of sick fascination. Again she thought about what was so special about her?

The day went by faster than she had predicted. After lunch period the school seemed to come alive with gossip. From how the new girl got to sit at lunch with one of the Cullens to how she fainted in Biology because she couldn't stand to see blood. _She's_ _such a weakling_. All in all it seemed that recently everything revolved around one Bella Swan.


	4. Drowned

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

* * *

Drowned

_"__Let me flow into the ocean,  
__Let me get back to the sea.  
__Let me be stormy and let me be calm,  
__Let the tide in, and set me free."_

* * *

Lauren counted the trip to first beach as a complete and utter disaster. Lying in a hospital bed, wearing a hideous hospital gown while she waited for her mother to get a thermometer was not an ideal situation. Her body was still shaking even when she was covered in several warm blankets. She was still trying to piece together how she ended up lying in an uncomfortable bed with her mother hovering over her, checking her temperature. Which by the way was getting on Lauren's nerves. She remembered almost everything that happened, the last bit at the end was what worried her. She was not entirely sure if her mind was playing tricks on her.

* * *

She couldn't believe that Mike was right about something. She gazed out her bedroom window and saw the sun shining between big fluffy white clouds against a clear blue sky. She touched the glass feeling the warmth seep through her fingers. She was guessing that it was around 70 degrees outside, which was extremely rare this up north and at this time of year and she planned to enjoy every minute of it.

She went through her closet opening and closing drawers until she found a light blue two-piece bathing suit. She thought she'd used it two times since she bought it. On her way out she grabbed a thin white long-sleeved top, a pair of light blue jeans and a pair of tennis shoes and went to her bathroom to change.

She knew she wouldn't be taking a dip in the ocean, even with the warm weather the water was still probably freezing. Adding to that was her fear of the ocean, well it wasn't exactly the ocean, it was more of a fear of the things she couldn't see in the water; it could be a lake, the sea, or even a pool at night. The moment she couldn't see her feet anymore she panicked. The mere thought of something brushing against her leg made her skin crawl. She believed part of her fear stemmed from watching Jaws when she was about eleven years old. She knew it was irrational but she couldn't help it — just as her extreme clown phobia, her almost pathological fear of insects and there was also the panic she felt being around a crowd of people while they invaded her personal bubble and touched her, even in an open space. Yeah, she was a total nutcase. Then again, nobody's perfect.

She checked herself in the mirror one last time, pulling her hair in a loose braid and went down the hall closet to grab a beach towel. After putting it in a bag she headed downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, checking the time on the clock that was hanging above the microwave. She decided to head over to Newton's Olympic Outfitters were they agreed yesterday would be the meeting place.

When she arrived fifteen minutes later almost everyone was already there. She parked her car and got out, heading straight over to Jessica and Angela. Jess told her that they were still waiting for Lee to arrive. Lauren looked around and spotted Mike and Tyler talking with Ben and Conner. When Tyler saw her he waved and she returned the gesture with a small smile. As she turned back to talk to Jess, Katie Marshall and two of her friends were coming over with bags in their hands.

They were all talking about the upcoming dance when Lauren heard a thundering noise approaching. That could only mean one thing. Bella Swan. _Oh goody! Her day was finally complete_. She looked over at the guys and saw as Mike's face lit up at the sight of Bella. _Man, he had it bad_; Jess wasn't going to take that lying down. She watched with fascination as Bella parked the monstrosity she called a truck.

When Bella finally stepped out she threw a look her way and Lauren sneered at her, Bella rolled her eyes and went to stand beside Mike. Katie leaned over, "Why was she even invited?"

"Believe me, if I had my way she wouldn't be here at all," she said it loud enough for Bella to hear. Bella blushed tomato-red, which was exactly what Lauren was aiming for.

She heard Jess whining about Mike offering Bella to ride shotgun. After hearing that, she was hoping to catch a ride with Lee. No way in hell was she riding in Mike's suburban; it was going to be a total nightmare.

It seemed today luck was on her side. Lee arrived with two other friends and as soon as everyone was ready she headed straight for his minivan. Angela shot her a look of pure annoyance when she realized there was no room for her in Lee's car. Lauren just shrugged her shoulders and smirked.

* * *

The ride down to La Push was filled with excitement. Everyone in the car was chatting about how it was so rare to have this kind of weather as Lee drove down the road to the reservation. Lauren was telling Katie how the water would still be freezing even with the warm weather.

"I don't mind a little cold water," Katie sounded pretty confident. _As if she could handle it_. Lauren planned to laugh in her face once she realized that it would be near impossible to take a dip in the ocean.

Lee parked the minivan near the beach and the guys started unloading the cars. They brought several coolers filled with bottled beverages and some sandwiches to eat later. They headed down the beach and found a spot with fallen logs. The guys went looking for driftwood near the edge of the forest for the bonfire while the rest of them sat in the logs. Mike was explaining Bella how to light driftwood or something along the lines. Lauren watched him arrange the pieces of wood in the form of a small teepee and started lighting small branches. They burned bright blue, with a hint of green. She thought she could stay and watch the fire burn for hours. It was quite a hypnotizing site.

About half an hour later the guys decided that they wanted to go hiking to the nearby tidal pools. Lauren was the first to decline, she and hiking was a very big no-no. While she liked the scenery of the forest, and went on the occasional jog in the woods behind her house, she was against anything involving camping, climbing or anything that revolved around outdoor activities. Even if she wanted she wasn't wearing the proper clothes. Jess and Angela decided to stay with her, along with Tyler and Eric.

After a while of fooling around on the beach, throwing sand around and splashing water at each other, they laid some towels near the logs and Tyler pulled a small radio from his bag. They were talking about music and the new upcoming movies for the summer when they spotted some La Push residents heading over their way. The one that looked older than the rest introduced himself as Sam Uley. He was as big as a bear, all russet skin and black ebony hair that was cut really short compared to his friends. Lauren wondered what they fed him at his house.

Sam rattled out the names of his friends, which she forgot as soon as he said them and settled back with Jess and Angela, meanwhile Eric and Tyler talked about cars — universal men language — with the newcomers.

When the rest of the group arrived, Eric introduced everyone. It looked like little Eric was actually paying attention when the Quileute guys arrived. Lauren caught Jessica eyeing one of the boys with interest as she went to stand next to Mike. Then again even if she said that she liked Mike she would try just about anything to make him jealous.

Tyler decided to sit by her side when she saw one of them look up at Bella when Eric introduced her. It looked like she caught another guy in her evil web. Lauren rolled her eyes and smiled at Tyler.

She saw as the guy walked over to Bella and introduced himself. Jacob Black. The name sounded familiar. It hit her when Bella said that he was Billy's son. He was one of her mother's patients. He was bound to a wheelchair due to his diabetes. He sometimes went to Forks hospital for checkups. Her mother once told her he had a killer sense of humor.

She kept listening in on their conversation while Tyler kept talking about some new pop singer. _So this Jacob guy was responsible for that monster of a truck that Bella drove_. Suddenly she heard Bella laughing. _No way! Who did she think she was?_ She treated everyone in Forks High like dirt. Well not dirt, but she never wanted to talk about herself and when someone actually wanted to have a conversation with her it was like talking to a wall — a wall probably had better manners than her. She never made any effort to be nice and still everyone followed her around. Even Jessica. _Especially Jessica_.

"You know Bella, Jacob?" Lauren heard herself say. _Shit_. He just smiled and said that they knew each other since they were little. _He has a killer smile,_ she had to give Bella some credit, the guy was all kinds of cute.

"How nice," guess it didn't work but on the bright side maybe Bella would make friends with him and leave Lauren and her friends alone. Even she knew how ridiculously far fetched that sounded. And what about Edward Cullen? _Ooh, light bulb over the head moment!_

"Bella, I was just telling Tyler that it's a shame the Cullens weren't invited," Bella threw her an evil filled look and then flushed red. Bella turned to Jacob looking all kinds of embarrassed.

"I uh, invited them, but uh they..." _ooh this was all kinds of funny_, watching as she stuttered out her answer still wearing a flushed face. It sounded like she actually invited them. _Oh such a shame_, she giggled in her head, "They said that uh, they were going camping."

Just then Sam — the big guy — decided to put Bella out of her misery when he told them that Dr. Cullen and his family didn't come to La Push. That sounded weird even to her. She knew that every time the weather was nice the doctor pulled out all his kids out of school to take them camping. So why didn't they ever come camping here? _Interesting_.

Tyler pulled her out of her thoughts when he asked her if she wanted to take a walk along the beach. Lauren agreed, he offered his hand and pulling her up in one swift move. He didn't let go as they approached the edge of the ocean and began walking north. They didn't talk, and she felt the silence was kind of uncomfortable, her mind being miles away thinking about how strange it was that the Cullens never visited La Push. After a while he guided her to one of the fallen logs that littered the beach. They sat down facing the sea. He stared telling her about the plans he had with Eric and Mike for the upcoming dance. Not paying attention, she looked up and realized that the perfect weather was over as the clouds began closing in. A shiver went down her spine and Tyler offered her his jacket — even if they didn't have much in common he was a gentleman, or just wanted to butter her up. After putting it on he laid an arm around her shoulders. _Buttering up it is_. She noticed how the temperature was dropping fast. She looked back at the ocean and sighed, the waves were getting rough, and there was probably a storm coming in.

"We should probably head back," Lauren said after standing and brushing the nonexistent sand form her jeans.

"Yeah, kind of getting hungry here," Tyler let out a soft laugh.

The peace was broken when Lauren spotted Bella and Jacob walking a few feet ahead of them. She dropped Tyler's hand and somewhat picked up her pace with Tyler following right behind her. Just as she was at the same level as Bella and Jacob, she threw Bella a smirk; planning to embarrass Bella once again. Before she even had time to open her mouth she felt something hit her foot causing her to lose her balance — with flailing arms included.

Had she been paying attention she would've noticed the rise of the ocean tide. For a moment she just saw Tyler and Jacob's eyes grow wide before she fell. The edge of the beach was a bit steep causing her to roll a bit before landing almost waist deep in the water. She let out a startled shriek. As she had predicted earlier, the water was freezing. It felt like a million needles were pricking her skin and it helped little that she was wearing a jacket. Everyone stood still waiting for Lauren's reaction. She looked up and saw Bella's smug face. _What the..._

From the corner of her eye she saw a huge wave heading straight at her and before she had time to scramble out she felt it crash over her. An instant later the undercurrent pulled her in. Wave after wave kept pulling her farther away from the beach. She was still close to the coast but the cold water and the angry waves made it almost impossible to reach. Panic filled her when another wave crashed over her, for a terrifying moment she couldn't see which way was up, her limbs were starting to grow numb. She somehow managed to break through the water's surface fighting with what little strength she had left. She remembered the storm that was coming in as the wind picked up with the waves getting rougher by the second; she felt the undercurrent still pulling her. Her fear made her forget everything she'd learned. She knew how to swim, and knew that she had to swim diagonally to the coast but in that moment everything went blank. In her panic filled haze she felt a pair of arms circling her waist. After the person pulled her out of the ocean she took a mouthful of cold air feeling relief wash over her. She looked up at the person who had just saved her and saw a pair of dark brown eyes surrounded by light russet skin. Then everything went dark.

* * *

She woke up in the hospital. _Ugh, what the hell?_ The first thing she saw was her mother's worried face hovering over her. Her mother let out a sigh of relief and hugged her tightly. She was still a little confused. What was she doing in the hospital? Suddenly everything cleared with memories of what happened at the beach rushing through her mind, the look on Bella's face and the freezing water, the overwhelming panic she felt when she couldn't get out, the strong arms that pulled her out of the ocean. She shuddered.

"What in the world were you thinking Lauren?" her mother went on a tirade about how dangerous it was to walk so near the coast when a storm was approaching, that she was lucky that there were people near to get her out.

"You're going to stay here overnight just to make sure you don't catch hypothermia," Lauren saw that her mother was about to cry. She felt really bad, even knowing it wasn't her fault.

"I'm so sorry mom," feeling guilty for putting her through this, "I probably tripped on a piece of driftwood and fell in the water. I didn't notice the high tide until it was too late."

"When they brought you in you were unconscious and your lips were blue!" she'd never seen her mother this scared. It was tearing Lauren apart — even when she found her mother somewhat lacking a maternal instinct — she hated seeing her suffer, "I though I was going to lose you!"

Lauren thought she was exaggerating, she hadn't even drowned. Her mother sat down beside her and let out a sob. _Shit._ Lauren tried sitting up but pain shot up her spine. She laid back down letting out a low garbled moan, "I'm ok mom, I'm just a little cold."

Her mother sighed, "Oh Lauren, I don't know what I would have done if anything happened to you."

"It won't happen again," Lauren looked into her mother's red-rimmed eyes, "I swear."

Her mother let out a tired sigh, "I know it won't."

Lauren tried to get comfortable in the hospital bed trying not to move her body too much. After a moment she gave up. Those ugly beds were made by the devil.

"You look much better than when they brought you in," she eyed Lauren with a critical eye putting a hand in her forehead then on her cheek, "I'll go get the thermometer, you feel a little warm."

And there it was, at last the doctor was kicking in. She went out the room and came back almost instantly, putting the damn thing in her mouth.

"So what happened after I passed out?" Lauren said remembering those intense dark brown eyes before she passed out, "I just felt someone pulling me out and then nothing," her mother gave her another penetrating look before sitting down on a nearby chair.

"Tyler and Mike brought you in," she began, "I talked to Tyler and he told me that you were taking a walk down the beach together, it seems that he didn't notice you were too close to the water either. He said you tripped and fell and that one minute you were there and the next a wave crashed over you and pulled you in," Lauren nodded, that part was still clear in her head, "He said that for a moment nobody moved, but that Billy's boy was the one to react first and jumped in after you. You passed out the moment he laid you down on the beach. They panicked when you didn't wake up after they covered you with towels and Mike offered to bring you here."

_That must have been quite embarrassing_. And she still couldn't get Bella's smug face out of her head. Had she really tripped her? _Ok yeah, she was trying to make her uncomfortable when she was talking with Jacob earlier but she wouldn't go as far as to make her fall on her face_. Bella could do it just fine all on her own. She may be mean but never to the point to cause harm — physical harm that is. She realized that those lines of thought were getting her nowhere. She couldn't prove it anyway. Maybe she had just imagined Bella's haughty face.

"Do you have Billy's phone number?" Lauren yawned. She was on the verge of falling asleep, "I want to call Jacob to thank him," her mother just gave her an approving nod.

"Sure honey," her mother said as she ran her fingers through Lauren's hair, "I'll let you call him in the morning." She kissed her forehead, "I love you Lauren."

"Love you too," she managed to say before the darkness took over once more.


	5. Reason to Live

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

* * *

Reason to Live

_"And I feel a change in my life  
__I sailed into dark and endless nights  
__And made it alive."_

* * *

As it turned out, the object of Lauren's gratitude walked right into her hospital room the very next day. It appeared she had to embarrass herself once more. He arrived when she was still sleeping and quite possibly drooling. Hence the reason of her shame.

She woke up and there he was, sitting on a chair beside her bed. At first she thought she was still dreaming, after all why would he visit her?

"Hey," He was really here? _Oh God!_ She began to panic. She definitely had bed hair and she was wearing the generic hideous hospital gown. Why was he staring? Did she have something on her face? _Oh right_, he was waiting for an answer.

"Ugh hi," she managed to choke out. Her brain was still trying to connect with her mouth. _Oh, could somebody kill her now?_

"I just wanted to see how you were doing, you know, gave everybody quite a scare last night," he flashed her with a beautiful smile. _Seriously?_ Why do guys always get the killer smiles, or the eyelashes to die for?

"Yeah, thanks by the way, um for getting me out of the water," she felt her face grow hot while trying to tame her hair into something decent.

"You're welcome, but try not to trip into the ocean next time."

"Believe me, there will be no tripping for me next time," she laughed a little. He outright laughed, a loud and contagious laugh.

After a moment he sobered up, "Can I ask you something?" he was giving her a penetrating look.

"You can ask, doesn't mean I'll answer," she tried to joked.

"Don't get mad, but uh, yesterday you looked terrified, and you weren't in that deep," He blushed a little. Wasn't she the one who was supposed to be embarrassed?

"Um, I'm kind of scared of the ocean. I mean I don't like it when I can't see what's lurking beneath the surface," she smiled, "The freezing water and rough waves didn't help one bit either."

"Let me guess, you watched Jaws or Open Water or something like that and now you won't go near the ocean?" Jacob smirked. Lauren shook her head and let out a laugh. She hadn't laughed like that in years.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Nah, just a lucky guess."

"Well, it was Jaws actually and don't go spreading it around," now Lauren was the one smirking, "People here at Forks would kill for that kind of information."

"I won't tell a soul," he winked and gave her a conspiratorial smile.

"Anyway, I was actually going to give you a call," she tried to sit up, failing miserably. Jacob got up from his chair and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her up a little so she could rest her back against the headboard.

"Thanks," it came out as barely a whisper, "So, how come you ended up here in my room?"

"I brought my dad for his monthly checkup," he was still wearing a wide smile, "I asked your mom how you were doing, she sent me here."

So this was her mother's doing? Why wasn't she a bit surprised? Couldn't she have at least given her a head's up?

"It's a good thing you came by then, I got to thank you in person," he let out another laugh. Was he always this happy? She hoped he was not another Mike Newton. One was more than anybody should ever handle.

"None of that, one thank you is enough for me," he sat back down in the chair.

"Fine," she huffed out.

"So, when do you get released?"

"Today, according to my mom," She just wanted to sleep in her own bed. Her back was already killing her, "I only stayed overnight for observation, you know, the perks of being a doctor's daughter."

"Or maybe just a loving mother?" _If only_, she thought bitterly. Lauren noticed as his eyes lost a bit of spark. She wondered what was that about?

"Yeah, maybe."

"Listen, I got to go," he stood and gave the room a thorough look, "I guess I'll see you around," Jacob turned to look at her giving her a half smile.

"Yeah, see you, and thanks, for um, stopping by."

"Sure, sure," he headed for the door and grabbed the doorknob, turning around one last time, "Hope you feel better."

The moment he was out the door she sprinted to the bathroom, pain forgotten. Turning on the lights she looked at herself in the mirror. _Well_ _she'd looked worse_. Shrugging she went back to the bed. _No use crying over it_.

Lauren searched for the remote, turning on the TV as she waited for her mother to arrive with the release papers.

She walked in a while later, carrying a bag with what Lauren assumed were her clothes.

"Morning, honey," her mother gave her the bag and she headed to the bathroom, "Did you sleep ok last night?"

"Yeah, I didn't wake up once," Lauren took out a pair of dark blue jeans and a long-sleeved gray top, "But my back aches a bit," she changed and took out her toothbrush. After she finished she went back to the room and sat at the edge of the bed.

"That's normal," her mother shrugged, "Hospital beds aren't made for comfort."

"You don't say?" Lauren bit back a laugh. It seemed that her mother noticed her good mood, but apparently decided not to mention it, which she was grateful for.

"So, ready to go home?" she asked instead.

"Like you wouldn't believe!" Lauren was itching to get back home. She was still somewhat tired and longed for her own bed.

* * *

Monday at school was a nightmare. While she was considered a popular girl, not many people dared approach her.

It seemed that almost drowning changed the dynamic a bit. She'd be lying if she said that she was basking in all the attention. Even though some people were just curious she still heard some say that at last she had gotten what she deserved. She tried not to pay attention to the ones that were being all kinds of rude. Years being considered the school bitch tended to harden your skin, she thought with disdain. It was either that or cower in fear and shame until you became the laughing stock at school, which was not really an option.

After a while the rumors died down when they discovered something new to gossip about. It looked like Edward Cullen did date after all. And he attached himself to none other than Bella Swan.

Lauren still thought that she tripped her that day at the beach. And thanks to her adventure in the ocean she hadn't been sleeping well, she was having nightmares about drowning in an endless black sea with no help in sight, sometimes help arrived but never reached her in time while the cold dark water always managed to consume her. Every night was something different. She considered yelling at Bella but it was Bella's word against hers, and the odds were in Bella's favor. After all, all Lauren ever did was try to antagonize her, and Bella had the excuse that she didn't know her that well and for all intents and purposes didn't have a mean bone in her body.

Still she kept an eye on Bella for any signs of guilt or remorse, but all she had eyes for was her new boyfriend, so if she felt anything it was lost in the sick googly eyes that she was always throwing at Edward. What bothered Lauren to no end was when he would sometimes gaze at her with an intense puzzled look. She didn't give a damn that every girl was dying to try and steal him from Bella now that they knew for a fact that he indeed liked girls; he somehow managed to make her skin crawl, and not in a good way.

* * *

After the incident at the beach Tyler became somewhat distant. Lauren didn't know the reason and after she debated with herself, found out she actually didn't care. Still it left her a bit confused. Had she done something wrong? Or was it the whole Bella bashing thing? In the end it didn't matter, they still went to the dance together, where she thought about ditching him but went with faking a headache instead so she could escape early. Which was totally out of character for her. After the dance he didn't bother asking her out again.

For a while everything was going fine — not counting the dance fiasco. She got back to her routine after all the rumors died down, though she still had the nightmares. But after a while she began putting more distance between her and her friends. She had always considered them superficial friendships, always talking about the same things, going to parties and the occasional movie together and that was about it. They didn't know her on a personal level — they actually never bothered, all they ever saw was a pretty face. After the whole beach disaster she stopped trying to keep up the façade, she didn't know why she even bothered in the first place, she knew what people where saying behind her back even before the beach incident.

She didn't have an epiphany were she unexpectedly realized what a crappy life she'd been living. Or it suddenly dawned on her that she should be a better person, or anything like that.

It just felt different. She felt different, like she didn't fit anymore. And it was ridiculous. She still occasionally talked to Jess and Angela, and sat at the usual table at lunch, but she found herself ignoring the conversations. It was becoming very frustrating.

She thought her mother started to notice, which meant that she really was going to extremes. Sometimes she would catch her mother staring at her with a worried look, but Lauren couldn't force herself to confront her. Her mother didn't say a word either.

One day her mother just suggested grabbing a book and heading down to the beach in La Push to clear her mind. Normally Lauren would have snorted a reply, but the beach actually sounded like a wonderful way to try and relax and think things over. Or think nothing at all.

With that idea in her head, one Saturday afternoon she grabbed one of her dad's old books and a beach towel and got in her car. She drove in silence, wondering when everything had gone to hell.

She arrived and looked around seeing the beach deserted; She laid a towel far away from the water, there was no need for a replay of what happened the last time she was there. She took the book and immersed herself in its pages.

She guessed her mother was actually right for a change. The peace and quiet helped her relax. She stopped having nightmares, and her mood improved a bit.

It became another routine — she liked to have some type of order in her life and routines were her thing. She went down to the beach every Saturday afternoon and would spend the day reading or just watching the waves roll in.

One day her routine was altered. It was one of those days when she was just gazing at the ocean, book left forgotten by her side.

From the corner of her eye she saw someone plop down beside her.

"Whatcha doin'?" Lauren turned to look at the person that decided to break her peaceful moment.

"I would say, watching the waves, but it would be kind of obvious," she chuckled and raised a single delicate eyebrow.

"No kidding," he looked down and he took the book that was lying between them.

"I didn't peg you for a Stephen King fan," she looked at the book he was holding. She remembered begging her mother not to throw those away. Her dad had a thing for horror, mystery and fantasy books with some sci-fi and crime thrown in. His whole collection consisted of all kinds of Stephen King books —from short stories to novels; somewhere in there was the occasional Peter Straub lengthy tale, the rare Lord of the Rings trilogy, various Isaac Asimov series and Tom Clancy's famous Hunt for Red October.

She had already gone through most of them. This one though, was the first one she bought herself; it was published a year after her father had passed away. She was already half way through, the mysterious plot keeping her on her toes.

"Yep," she said popping out the p, "I'm not really into romance novels or star crossed lovers."

"You're one strange girl," Jacob said as he looked her in the eyes. "Anyone meeting you for the first time would say you're as girly as they come," Lauren scowled, and bit back an insult. She ended up shrugging one shoulder. What was the use, she learned that screaming got her nowhere a long time ago.

"What's that supposed to mean?" she managed to spit out her reply still trying to contain her anger. _Who did he think he was?_

"Does it mean I'm strange by the fact that I am indeed a girl and I like to dress accordingly and still read these," she said pointing at her Bag of Bones copy, "Or do you prefer girls who say that they are into romance and tragedies and are complete airheads that don't even like to read or do you like the ones that look like a 90's reject with all the plaid and don't have a single feminine bone in their body?" oh she was just getting started.

"Hey, I didn't mean it as an insult," he raised his hands in defense, effectively cutting her off.

"It's just not everyday you get to meet someone who has more depth than just their physical appearance and aren't afraid of showing it," well, if she looked at it that way it wasn't really an insult.

"Sorry for um, snapping at you," she decided it was safer to keep her eyes away from him and turned to gaze at the ocean.

"So, since when do you come out here to read or uh watch the waves? Lauren was stubbornly avoiding looking at him.

"For a while," she raised her knees and hugged them to her chest, resting her chin on top, "What are you doing here?" she volleyed back.

"I was actually meeting some friends," he began scanning the beach. Today was a bit more crowded, seeing as it was actually kind of sunny and warm.

"Do you want to hang out with us?" she turned her head finally looking at him. He had a lazy smile on his face, lying back with his elbows in the sand and his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. He was the epitome of happy and relaxed. For a moment she envied the easy way he carried himself.

"Maybe some other time, I just came here to, you know, try to unwind a little and not think for a while," Lauren let out a sigh and decided it was time to head home.

"You sure?" she didn't know why he was inviting her to meet his friends. Maybe it was out of pity? Or did he have another angle? Because let's face it, he was Bella's friend and Lauren had never been nice to that girl, probably never would be. And she would bet anything that she had already told him what a bitch she was and what a horrible person she was to her since she came to live here. So him being friendly was throwing her for a loop.

The day at the hospital was some kind of fluke. She was still groggy and he just came because her mother sent him there. Lauren had every intention to call him and thank him. She wasn't by any means an ungrateful brat. But she knew she hadn't made a good impression that day at the beach. After his visit at the hospital, she hadn't really speared him a single thought and he probably didn't either.

Whatever reason he had for being like this would have to wait. Today was one of those days were she preferred being alone.

"Positive," she stood and started to gather her stuff. He folded her towel for her and handed it over after he finished; she just stuffed the towel in her bag. They waved goodbye. He continued walking down the beach and she headed to her car. All the while wondering why he was being nice.

* * *

The change to her routine came every Saturday, sometimes carrying his own book. They never mentioned Bella, her friends or his friends for that matter. Sometimes there was the occasional slip where she would mention Angela and Jessica, or he sometimes would tell her about the jokes and pranks that his friends, Embry and Quil, would pull at school.

Lauren didn't actually mind his company. In fact it was like a breath of fresh air after sometimes feeling like she was suffocating at school.

They talked about everything. From favorite books, music and movies to football and the occasional talk about cars, since it was one of his favorite subjects. She didn't know anything about brands or if a 6-cylinder car was better than a 4-cylinder one, whatever that meant. He still tried to teach her stuff. Even without his help she thought that she knew more than most girls. She had learned how to check the water and oil, and some other simple stuff all by herself. In return Lauren tried to stay away from girly topics, which he seemed to appreciate.

"Where you really bawling your eyes out when you watched The Notebook?" he was being an ass. He was rolling around in the sand laughing, every time he somewhat calmed down he would look at her — probably imagining her crying her eyes out at the theater — and start all over again.

"Yes, it was totally embarrassing. I was just doing Jess a favor and I ended making a fool of myself. I remember that the credits were already over and the lights were turned on but I couldn't seem to stop the hysterical crying. People that were passing by looked at me as if I were insane," she finished her rant with a huff and a pout, crossing her arms over her chest. Making him chuckle once more at her bratty attitude.

"Thanks for the heads up," he managed to get out between laughs, "Remind me to never invite you to the movies to watch anything remotely related."

"Jess said it was a romance!" Lauren was getting quite flushed trying to maintain the icy façade and contain her own laughter.

"You said you hated anything that had romance in it."

"Jake! Weren't you listening when I said that it was a favor?" she sat there frowning at him. _That was just so typical_. Guys only listened when there was something they liked or something in it for them.

"Actually, I think it was payback for making her watch Kill Bill Vol.2," stupid Jessica. Lauren swore she was never watching The Notebook again. Ever. She was in agony for over half the movie. She knew it wasn't because it was bad it was just really so heartbreaking. _Ugh, all the suffering and crying_.

"Kill Bill, uh?" s_ee?_ They listen when they want.

"Yeah, although I think the first volume was better. The scene where Uma Thurman fights against the Yakuza army was the best part," this was her kind of topic. She could talk about these type of movies all day long.

"So you're into gory stuff?" gore? Not so much. These movies were filled with blood and exaggerated violence, but gore? That was another story.

"Depends how much gore we're talking about," she remembered watching Saw with the whole crowd. She cringed through the whole movie.

"Hmm, Hostel against Saw," he's such a guy.

"I went to see both and I would say Hostel is a lot gorier than Saw. Don't get me wrong both were extremely disgusting, but Hostel left a certain fear, you know? I guess that if I ever go backpacking I wouldn't be caught dead in a hostel."

"You take things to seriously Lauren," _yeah, no kidding_. He still made fun of her for being afraid of the ocean. She hadn't even come around to mentioning that it was kind of general murky looking water, not just the ocean, plus all her additional quirky fears. Telling him everything was just opening a whole new can of worms. And she didn't want to become the butt of his jokes either.

"You can't blame me, they're so realistic, it's kind of difficult to separate fiction from reality," they were now sitting side-by-side facing the ocean.

"It appears you're a thrill-seeker," Jake stated after a long pause.

Lauren smiled as she watched the waves roll in, "Anything to get the adrenaline pumping."

* * *

Lauren came to the realization that each week she longed for Saturday to arrive. Jake was quickly becoming a sort of an escape. She could be herself around him, no pressure and no expectations. Every Saturday she opened up a little more. Talked about things that she hadn't even told Jessica about. Not that she told Jessica anything remotely personal.

It appeared that they had both lost a parent at a young age. She told him that her dad had an inoperable brain tumor, how her mother had broken down and cried when her grandfather called to tell her the news when he passed away while they were spending the Christmas holidays with her mother's family in Appleton. The pain her grandfather's death had caused. The dreams she sometimes had about memories of a once happy family. How they were so detailed that it seemed like they happened just yesterday. The disappointment she felt about her relationship with her mother. How she feared that with every passing day her mother distanced herself more and more form her.

At the same time Jake opened up to her too. Telling her how her mother, Sarah, died in a car crash when he was barely ten. How Rebecca and Rachel, his twin older sisters, both left because they couldn't deal living in La Push without their mother. How the last memory he had of her mother was when she left to the grocery store, hugging him and telling him that she loved him. How he felt his world stop when Chief Swan came over looking for his dad to inform them of his mother's accident. How he waited for her to come home every day and the overwhelming grief that washed over him when he realized she wasn't coming back. He told her how difficult it was to take care of his father all by himself.

Lauren was awed that Jake could still be so happy and carefree after all that he had been through. He tried to tell her something along the same lines.

"Jake, how can you compare yourself with me?" her eyes were still red and a bit swollen from crying. "I lash out at everybody, I find it extremely hard to let people in. You on the other hand, are the exact opposite. You make friends so easily, you're always happy to the point that it's contagious," they were sitting in their usual spot on the beach. A towel laid out and again both of them facing the ocean.

"Come on sweetheart, you know that's not true. Everyone deals with grief their own way and of course we're different, we're different people. Just imagine if everybody was the same; that would be really boring, don't you think? But being you doesn't make you a bad person. Besides…" he placed an arm around her, pulling her close to him.

"You don't lash out at me, you could've screamed or thrown something at my head that first time I saw you here sitting by yourself," he gave her a wink.

"Thanks Jake, and I'll kill you if you ever spread this around, but I think that you're the first person I've actually told about daddy because I wanted to, no one has actually ever asked, seeing as everyone in Forks knows, but still... anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I um think you're kind of my best friend." He laughed and hugged her tighter.

"I won't tell a soul," he promised, "And I think you're kind of my best friend too."

* * *

Prom was just around the corner. Lauren thought several times about asking Jake to go with her, but she thought it would be all kinds of awkward being as they never really saw each other outside their Saturdays at the beach. Besides, she didn't want to bring Bella's attention to their new friendship.

Things at school where looking up again. Lauren still maintained certain distance with her friends but not as much as before. So it didn't come as a surprise when Conner asked her to prom. After thinking about it for a few days, she decided to go with him thinking that she had nothing to lose.

She couldn't wait for the school year to be over. After prom she only had finals and then she would be free for the summer. Her mother told Lauren that she was sending her to spend a month at her grandparents' house in Appleton. She still wasn't sure what she would do without her weekly visits to the beach but Jake assured her that she could call him every Saturday if she wanted. She thought it was his way of acknowledging he felt the same thing as her and still keep the manly façade. They both had become a bit attached to their little routine. Then again, it was only a month.


	6. Comfortably Numb

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

**A/N: Thanks to the people who followed, favorited and reviewed this story!**

* * *

Comfortably Numb

"_Come on now  
__I hear you're feeling down  
__I can ease your pain  
__And get you on your feet again__"_

* * *

It was September again. With it came another school year, her last high school year. _Finally._ So much had changed in a little over two months. Lauren went to prom with Conner where she really tried to have a good time — mostly dancing the night away hardly paying any mind to her date. After that she spent all her free time studying like crazy for finals.

About a week after exams were over her mother shipped her off to visit her grandparents. Jake made her promise to call at least once a week, the fact that he didn't have a cell phone limited the time they could talk; not wanting to imagine her mother's face when she found the amount she had to pay for her phone bill.

She spent the whole month visiting old friends, going from party to party. Her grandparents didn't even give her a curfew and several times she stumbled back to the house well after midnight, sometimes even a little drunk. Some of her friends had discovered that their parents didn't lock the liquor cabinets.

She remembered telling Jake that she had a few drinks one time they were partying the night away at her friend Mandy's house while her parents were out of town. Mandy had stolen two bottles of tequila from a hidden cupboard in the kitchen and they bought several Sprites to mix the alcohol with. Some of the guys who had more experience drinking showed her how to take shots. _It was definitively not a pleasant experience_.

To say Jake was pissed was the understatement of the year. For starters she was underage, then there was the whole speech about how dangerous it was.

"What's wrong with you?" Jake's voice took a condescending tone, "Just because your friends get wasted doesn't mean you have to do the same, you know it doesn't make you look cool."

"What the hell Jake!" she knew she was probably overreacting but the tone in which he was lecturing her was driving her crazy.

"Having a couple of drinks isn't getting wasted," she huffed, "Besides it's my life and I can do whatever I want with it."

"You shouldn't throw your life away over something as stupid as drinking," he tried to reason with her, "You're a smart girl, surely you know that drinking isn't a good thing."

She sighed, "I know Jake, I just had two maybe three drinks, nothing dangerous, I was just having fun. Besides when I get back home I won't be drinking anymore, I promise."

"It's your life as you eloquently put it, I can't force you to stop doing anything you don't want to, but at least be careful," she knew he was right, then again it wasn't as if she was drinking the whole bottle and making a fool of herself.

"I will, and really you don't have to worry about me, everything's fine."

"Sure, sure," he rattled giving her one of his signature laughs, "Just try not to do anything stupid."

"I won't besides my month's almost over, I have less than a week left to enjoy myself."

She decided to abstain from telling him that she had smoked a couple of cigarettes on more than one occasion. She didn't want him to think any less of her. She had grown up with both her father and grandfather smoking. She knew it wasn't a healthy addiction — hell she didn't think any addiction was healthy. But she had stopped caring what people thought about her. She wasn't going to parade around advertising it but she wouldn't stop doing it either.

* * *

When she got back to Forks her mother tried to convince her to get a job for the reminder of the summer break. Lauren agreed only because there was so much she could do being alone at her house the whole day before she bored herself to death. She still saw Jake every Saturday, but for the rest of the week he was either working on fixing up his car or spending time with Quil and Embry, which she had still yet to meet.

She found out through her mother that she could volunteer at the hospital filing and retrieving documents. Her mother told her that she would pay her an increased allowance as an incentive. She actually didn't mind not getting paid although she didn't tell her mother that. She was willing to do anything to get out of the house for the day.

The first week she was going to be _trained _by another volunteer, which would be basically showing her around and telling her where the documents where stored and how the filing system worked.

Her first day started out as a nightmare. The other volunteer was a girl from the reservation, she was quite beautiful in an exotic kind of way, she had smooth light copper skin, long dark brown, almost black hair that reached beyond her shoulder blades, she was maybe a few inches taller than her and looked about two maybe three years older than her and had a figure to die for.

And then she spoke. If people thought that Lauren was a bitch, this girl took it to a whole new level. Bitch didn't even begin to describe Leah Clearwater. To say she was bitter was an understatement. Still Lauren tried to fight her every step of the way.

"This wasn't in the job description," Lauren tried to reason.

"I don't give a shit," Leah gritted her teeth, "Your task is to order these documents properly, however long it takes."

Lauren took a deep breath, "Nobody told me I would have to spend the day locked in this tiny room," she said looking around the claustrophobic filing room.

"Look, just do what you're told and stay the hell out of my way," she said slamming the door on her way out.

Lauren was pissed. _What right did she have talking to her like that?_ She had to give some credit to Leah, she was quite intimidating and if Lauren wanted to keep her job, even if it was as a volunteer she should probably keep her mouth shut. _Should_ being the operative word.

She stormed back to where Leah was checking that days files.

"Listen, I'm not planning on spending the day locked in that room," Lauren said crossing her arms over her chest. "I know we're both supposed to order those files and check over the new ones which I assume you're doing. So drop the attitude because it's kind of getting old," she tried to use a condescending tone.

Leah's jaw dropped, "Who the hell do you think you are Barbie? I don't care what they told you. This is a non-negotiable situation. Period."

"I don't know what the hell is your problem, and I don't actually care. I'm not your little minion to boss around, either you help me or I'll sit around here and annoy you for the rest of the day," Leah shot her an evil filled look but Lauren stood her ground, she wasn't going to let Leah bully her into doing that stupid job alone.

After a few minutes of staring each other down Leah finally huffed out, "Fine, we'll take two hour shifts, is that ok with you Barbie?"

"Perfect," she let a wide smile grace her face, "And while we're at it stop calling me Barbie, I assume you're a smart girl and actually remember my name, so use it ok?"

"Why should I?" Leah smirked, "Barbie sounds so much better, you looking like one and all."

"I'm going to take it as a compliment then," Lauren voice was dripping sarcasm, "The jokes about being an airhead or being thrown outside in the sun and smelling like burnt plastic will get old pretty quickly."

Leah let out peals of laughter, "I think we'll get along just fine. Oh and by the way you're taking the first shift."

Lauren rolled her eyes and raised one eyebrow, "Ok, but you'll start in the filing room tomorrow."

"Fine, just get to work," Leah said turning around to continue checking the files.

After that Lauren didn't complain anymore. At least she wasn't going to be locked in the stupid room the entire day. During lunch break they actually sat together. Most of the hour was spent eating, neither of them wanting to start a conversation. By the end of the day they had rotated twice with Leah just working one hour the last shift. They would continue that way until all the paperwork was sorted. Then they both would go over the day files as they came in.

The week went by without a hitch. There were no more angry confrontations and Leah seemed to calm down a bit after she discovered that Lauren wouldn't be fussing anymore.

* * *

Finally it was Saturday and Lauren all but ran down to the beach. She even forgot to grab a book and a towel. When she arrived at the beach Jacob was already waiting for her. Thankfully he brought a towel with him.

"Hey," she greeted him after sitting down beside him, "How was your week?"

"Hello to you too," he grinned, "I spent it mostly in the garage, I still have to go to the junkyard to see if I can find some spare parts I need."

She nodded along. Jake had learned to simplify the mechanics talk knowing she understood about half the things he told her.

"That's great Jake, if you need a ride let me know," she offered.

"Yeah thanks, maybe I'll take you down on the offer later," he said, "I still have a long way to go, it's nowhere near finished."

"You'll have it working in no time, you'll see, with all the car stuff you talk about it looks like you know what you're doing," she said with a smirk while she gave him a slight punch in the arm.

"Hey, no hitting!" he turned around facing her and tried to tickle her ribs, "And thanks for the confidence boost."

Lauren let out a strangled shriek, "Hey!" she said between laughs, "That's not fair, stop it!" she tried moving away from him.

"I don't think so," he said moving with her, "It looks like you're having a seizure, it's actually really funny!"

"Fine!" she shirked, "You win!"

"That's all I wanted to hear," he laughed. Lauren was trying really hard not to hit him again. _Smartass_.

They sat back on the beach towel, "So, how was your new job at the hospital?"

She told him about the job last Saturday. He had agreed with her that being alone in her house wasn't the ideal situation. He had even offered her to help him with the car but she thought he would work better if she weren't around pestering him.

"I thought the first day was going to be a nightmare after I met this other girl that was also volunteering. She's from La Push and quite a bitch I might add. You wouldn't belie—"

"Wait, are you talking about Leah Clearwater?" she hated being interrupted.

"Yeah how did you know?" she huffed crossing her arms over her chest pouting a bit.

"My dad told me she got a job at the hospital and he knew because her dad and mine are members of the tribe council. I actually know her family really well," now that got Lauren's attention, "You have no idea all the stuff she's been through."

"What happened to her?" Lauren was intrigued. She hated to sound like a gossip mongrel but there had to be a reason why Leah was so mean, either that or she was born that way. Which she highly doubted.

"When Leah was still in high school she was dating Sam Uley. They were supposed to be madly in love or something but then he went missing for about two weeks, I remember Leah and her mom putting up missing posters all around La Push," he began wriggling his hands nervously. Lauren just raised a curious eyebrow.

"My dad said that they found him in the forest half starved. After that it seemed that everything was ok but Sam broke up with her after Leah's graduation party not even a month later. I don't really know exactly how it happened but about a week later Leah's cousin, Emily started dating Sam, they even moved in together. Leah was furious and to top it all off everyone was talking about her, and not Sam and Emily, saying things like how her cousin was better than her and stuff like that," he finished with a cringe on his face, waiting for Lauren to explode.

"You got to be kidding me!" she shrieked. Jacob tried to move gently away.

She stood and started pacing in front of Jacob, "What a douche! And people have the guts to make it as if it was her fault _and_ rub it in?"

"Sweetheart calm down, it's not fair, I know but sometimes this stuff happens," he tried to appease her.

"I know ok? No wonder she's the way she is now, I would have probably ripped him a new one," she didn't know why she was taking it so personally. It wasn't like Leah was the nicest person to be around with.

"Yeah but it happened and I guess she got the short end of the stick," he said.

"Really?" her tone made Jacob cringe again. _Good_. "So I guess that makes it ok?"

"No it doesn't, but there's nothing you can do," he stood up and enveloped her in his arms, making her whole body tense. He began rubbing her back soothingly until she relaxed.

"Unless you want to bring it up with her, which will probably backfire," he chuckled softly.

"That's not even remotely funny Jake, she will probably bite my head off."

"You'll never know until you try," he said letting her go and pulling her down with him on the towel.

"I'll think about it," she assured him.

They spent the rest of the afternoon fooling around on the beach, occasionally throwing water at each other; they both knew the good weather wouldn't last much longer. By September it would probably start to get cold again.

They said their goodbyes after the sun went down, each going their separate way. While driving home Lauren started thinking of ways she could approach Leah in a way that Leah would open up to her. She was finding it extremely difficult to come up with a solution. Maybe she should just leave it alone. They were getting along just fine. Then again stirring the pot a little couldn't hurt, right? Spice things up a bit.

* * *

On Monday morning she still hadn't come up with an excuse to bring out Leah's problem so she decided to let it go for the time being. And so the week went by and still Lauren hadn't found a way to smoke the story out of Leah.

That Saturday Jake told her to let it go. That if Leah wanted to talk to her she would in her own time. Still she felt some sort of sympathy for Leah that she couldn't quite explain. Maybe it was the way people treated them. Living surrounded by rumors and gossip.

Today Lauren would be spending her first two hours checking the files at the desk while Leah took the storage room. They were almost finished ordering all the files, they would probably finish by tomorrow or Thursday morning. Lauren and Leah were actually a good team, even if they worked separately.

During their lunch hour Lauren decided to strike up a conversation. _There was no harm in doing it, was it?_

"So, why did you decide to volunteer here at the hospital instead of getting a paying job somewhere else?" Lauren cringed. _Ok that came out kind of wrong_.

Leah looked at her suspiciously, "Why do you want to know?" Lauren let out a small sigh. At least she was speaking to her.

"Just curious," she shrugged.

"Why did _you_ take the job?" Leah volleyed back. _Good God, couldn't Leah just answer the damn question?_

"I had nothing better to do, it was either this or stay at home and bore myself to death," Lauren decided it was best if she answered honestly.

"So why did you take the job?" she tried again.

Leah still had a suspicious look on her face but still answered, "Kind of the same reason you did. Had to get away from my annoying little brother." She chuckled.

"Really?" Lauren looked surprised, "And how old is he?"

Leah snorted, "Barbie, I think his a little too young for you, let's put it this way, jailbait."

"As if!" Lauren all but shrieked, "Why would I want to date your little brother?"

"Are you saying he isn't good enough for the likes of you?" Leah bit out. _Shit_. That didn't sound good.

"I didn't mean it like that, I haven't even met him!" she tried to reason with her.

"I'm just messing with you Barbie, chill out," Leah let out a laugh.

"That was so unnecessary Leah!" she whined indignantly.

"His name is Seth by the way and his fourteen," Leah said to appease Lauren, "So why take the job instead of going out with your friends?"

Lauren though for a moment, "Because I don't talk to them anymore. Well actually we weren't that close to begin with. After I almost drowned at First Beach back in March I kind of dropped the act."

"That was you?" Leah sounded intrigued, "I heard about it, you somehow fell and landed in the water and Jacob Black went in after you, they say that you fainted and everything."

"Wow, gossip sure goes around," Lauren said, her voice dripping with venom, "I'm glad my pathetic life amuses you."

"Hey chill, it's just what I heard, nothing against you Barbie," Leah raised her hands in defense.

"Yeah, I know, we live in a hellhole, nothing stays secret for long," Lauren watched for any sign that Leah understood the hint.

Leah's eyes widened, "You heard about what happened to me, huh?" Lauren saw her eyes harden.

"Believe me, I didn't go asking questions about you or anything. I was just taking to my best friend about all that happened last week and your name came up. He said that he knew your family and kind of told me what happened to you."

"Who's your best friend?" she was looking at her with a bit of curiosity and some anger.

"I'll tell you if you promise not to go all psycho bitch on him for telling me," Lauren tried to bargain.

Leah snorted, "Fine, I promise."

"Jacob Black," she tried not to cringe waiting for Leah to start screaming.

"Really? Jacob's your best friend?" that answer was totally unexpected.

"Yeah, actually he's probably my only friend at the moment," she let out a sigh and brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, trying to look anywhere but at Leah.

"That's a bit pathetic Barbie," Leah said trying not to sound like she pitied her and failing miserably.

"I don't need your pity, you know? I decided to stop talking to my friends all on my own," Lauren gritted her teeth. She was trying really hard to curb her anger.

"Hey take it easy, I'm probably as pathetic as you are at the moment, if you didn't catch the obvious hint that it was either working here or hanging out with my fourteen year old brother you're dumber than I thought you were," she finished with a laugh.

"Yeah, I kind of got the hint, didn't want to embarrass you though," Lauren huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, "So, can you tell me what happened to you?"

"I thought Jacob told you?" she sounded a bit annoyed.

"He did, but you know how gossip can be twisted, better to hear it from the source so there can't be any misunderstandings," Lauren tried to sound convincing.

"Fine I'll tell you if you tell me why you dropped your friends out of the blue."

"Deal," Lauren readily agreed. This had gone easier than she originally thought. At least she hadn't screamed at her yet.

"Lets head back to the filing room I don't need an audience for this," she got out of her chair and headed for the trash to throw what was left of her lunch. Lauren watched her for a moment before following after her.

When they arrived at the claustrophobic room Leah turned around and locked the door sitting down on the floor against the door. Lauren sat down and crossed her legs facing Leah with her back against a wall.

"So, do you want to go first?" Lauren asked. She didn't mind going first telling Leah what she wanted; she forgot to mention the fact that there wasn't actually much to tell.

"Where to begin?" Leah sighed, "I guess you know who's Sam Uley?"

Lauren nodded. Leah gave her a slight nod, "Yeah well I met Sam when I started freshman year at the high school in La Push, Sam was a sophomore. It was all new and back then I was quite naïve. He asked me to the first dance of the year and at that time I felt so lucky. We started dating after that. Eventually I fell in love with him, he was my everything. All I did revolved around him, from the way I looked to the people I associated with. Did you know we were engaged?"

Lauren gasped and shook her head. "Thought so, as you say gossip is often twisted," she sighed, "Well he proposed before I graduated from high school. We made plans to go to college together, to make a life for ourselves outside the reservation. My parents were so proud. Seth idolized him. Then he went missing three weeks later. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was so worried I thought I was going crazy. Then he came back two weeks later as if nothing ever happened. He wouldn't tell me where he went or what he did. He avoided me and made stupid excuses. I asked him if he wanted to break of the engagement and he said he loved me that he just needed some time."

Lauren saw silent tears rolling down Leah's face and her heart broke. She scooted over to Leah's side and grabbed her hand, giving it a slight squeeze, "You don't have to tell me the rest if you don't want to." She said trying to soothe her.

Leah just shook her head, "I'm fine," she took a deep breath, "My mom decided to throw me a graduation party and I invited my cousin Emily over, she lived in the Makah tribe in Neah Bay, even though we were related I considered her my best friend. Making friends with girls has never been easy; the girls at school were kind of intimidated by me or something. Anyway she came down to help me with the arrangements for the party. When I told her about the incident with Sam she was very supportive. She even offered to go with me when I told her I was going over to his house to invite him to the party. We went over to Sam's and the moment he saw her he wouldn't even look at me. He accepted the invitation and said he would see me there."

Lauren felt wretched. She shouldn't have convinced Leah to tell her something so personal.

Leah was now openly sobbing, "I should have known there was something going on between them. The day of the stupid party he came over and broke up with me. He had the nerve to tell me that he still loved me but that he just couldn't marry me anymore."

She let out another strangled sob, "Not even a week after he broke up with me I saw them together. Being an impulsive idiot I confronted them. Emily tried to explain and I told them both to rot in hell."

Lauren was horrified. How could her own cousin do that to her, even worst was that she was supposed to be her best friend. She was now gripping Leah's hand with all her strength.

"Then my parents got a call from the hospital saying that Emily had been mauled by a wild animal. She now has a set of scars that run across her face," for a moment neither of them spoke.

Then Lauren gave her a tight hug. She wasn't a fan of displays of affection but the situation called for one. Leah hugged her back and buried her head in Lauren's hair.

"Does it make me a bad person for being glad over what happened to Emily?" Leah spoke so softly that Lauren had difficulty hearing her. She heard her nonetheless. If she were in Leah's place she probably would have been glad too.

"I don't think so," she told her, "It's not like you caused this. And they say karma's a bitch so there you go," Leah chuckled mirthlessly.

"You're evil, Barbie!" Leah teased after ending the hug. She used the edge of her long-sleeved top to wipe of the tears still running down her face.

"I've been called worse," Lauren shrugged, "But seriously, that ex of yours is a total douche! Tell me that you at least kicked his ass."

At last Leah laughed, "I still owe him the ass kicking of his life," she checked her watch and stood up, "And believe me, it's not for the lack of trying."

"Let's get back to work," Leah opened the door, "We've been here for over an hour and this files won't sort themselves."

"Yeah, yeah," Lauren huffed standing up, "I'm on it."

"Hey Barbie!" Leah called from the door, "You still owe me a sob story," she fidgeted with the wet sleeve of her top, "And thanks um, for making me talk about it. I actually feel much better."

"Don't mention it, and maybe we can go for a coffee or something sometime this week so I can tell you all about my pathetic life as you called it," Lauren said waving her off.

"Sounds like a plan, now get back to work," she ordered before closing the door. Lauren was definitely not expecting quite a story. It was basically what Jake told her but the difference was in the details. And oh what a difference they made.

* * *

Lauren and Leah hadn't gotten around to going for the coffee Lauren had offered but working together became a much more pleasant experience. During lunch they would sit together and talk about everything. Lauren told Leah all the details of the incident at First Beach, even the part where she thought that Bella had tripped her on purpose. Leah got furious with Lauren because she hadn't said anything.

"What was I supposed to do?" Lauren pouted, "No one saw her doing it and no one would have believed me because the girl has the reputation of a saint."

Leah snorted, "I hate that kind of people."

"Besides now that she's dating what all the people in Forks once considered the most eligible bachelor, everyone wants to be on her good side waiting to see if she'll share some details," Lauren said with a roll of her eyes.

"This town is quite pathetic isn't it?" it was something they both agreed to wholeheartedly.

"Yeah, I can't wait to finish high school so I can get the hell out of here," Lauren sighed.

* * *

They spent their last days at the hospital fooling around, there was almost nothing left to do since they had finished ordering the filing room and now they just had to sort through the days paperwork which took no time at all. They had both agreed to get together at least once a week after they both finished their volunteer job at the hospital.

Leah had decided to take some curses online from the Seattle Community College while she applied to different places, as far away from Washington as possible. Lauren thought it was a great idea, that way Leah wouldn't be wasting time before moving away. Leah even offered to help her fill her own college applications when the time came.

* * *

The night before school started, Lauren was sitting on her bed crossed legged, a book laid forgotten beside her, her mind miles away. She was feeling anxious for whatever reason, she was nervous about the reaction she was probably going to receive after falling of the face of the planet during the whole summer. There was nothing left for her to do but get a goodnight's sleep.


	7. Bad Moon Rising

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

* * *

Bad Moon Rising

_"I see the bad moon arising  
__I see trouble on the way  
__I see earthquakes and lightnin'  
__I see bad times today"_

* * *

Classes resumed without a hitch. Lauren was a little offended when no one questioned where she had been during the whole summer, not even Jessica. _That was actually kind of a relief._

She continued sitting at her regular table with everyone else. Sometimes even having short conversations with the person sitting beside her during lunch. She noticed that Bella didn't sit at their table anymore but appeared to still talk to Jess and Angela occasionally and some guys still approached her to ask her out. Apart from that she tried to ignore everyone and devote her time to her classes and homework assignments.

The first weekend after school started she finally went with Leah for the coffee she had promised several weeks ago.

She arrived at the small diner first and sat in a booth at the back of the establishment. A waitress immediately approached her to take her order.

"What'll it be hon?" she said after taking a pad and pen from her apron.

"Can I take a moment? I'm waiting for a friend," the waitress nodded and headed back to the kitchen. Lauren turned her head towards the door when she heard it open.

Leah walked in and looked around, spotting Lauren and throwing a lazy smile her way; she approached the table sitting down in the seat opposite her.

"Hey, been here long?" she asked after she took her thin raincoat off.

"Just got here," Lauren said.

They gave their orders to the waitress after she showed up a second time. It took her no time to arrive back with two hot steaming cups of coffee.

"So how was your week?" Lauren said as she poured cream and sugar in her steaming drink.

"Quite boring," Leah said with a sigh. "The courses I applied to haven't even assigned anything yet and I'm usually home alone most of the day, with Seth back at school and mom and dad at work." she took a small sip of her cup.

"Why don't you volunteer at the hospital again?" Lauren said as she absentmindedly stirred her coffee.

"I'm not in the mood to deal with idiots," Leah chuckled. Lauren let out an indignant snort.

"Are you calling me an idiot?" she said while Leah broke into a fit of giggles.

After Leah calmed down she rolled her eyes, "You know what I mean, besides you were the worst when you started."

"As I recall you were being a mayor bitch who wanted to order me around."

"Yeah yeah, keep telling yourself that Barbie." Leah said, her shoulders shaking slightly trying to contain her laughter again.

"So, how was your first week of school?" she said trying to change the subject.

"I don't feel like a senior, well apart from all the homework they assigned everything else is the same." Lauren said with a huff.

"How did it go with your friends?" Leah took another sip of her drink.

"One would think that the least they would do was ask me how my summer went," she said with a roll of her eyes, "At least I wasn't completely ignored, a couple of guys asked me out but I turned them down."

Leah let out a loud laugh, "Oh Barbie you sound like your 'friends' actually hurt your feelings."

"If you say so," she said crossing her arms over her chest, "It just feels weird barely talking to these people, last year I had Jessica always hovering over me, wanting to know my every move and now we're hardly on speaking terms."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Leah said. "Most of my friends were Sam's friends first, after we broke up they stopped talking to me. I mean I was their friend too and they dropped me like a hot potato after the whole fiasco."

Lauren knew that it would probably take Leah some time to get over Sam and the mess he left her in. She was determined to be there for Leah, even if it didn't help much.

The conversation turned even more serious when Leah asked why she never bothered making friends with what Lauren considered superficial friendships.

The comment made Lauren pause, remembering those painful years after her father had died, followed not long after by her grandfather's. She wondered if she should just tell Leah.

Pain flared inside Lauren's chest, "Thing were complicated after my dad passed away—"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know…" Leah trailed off. Lauren knew that it made people uncomfortable talking about those kinds of things. She didn't need anybody's pity though.

"It's ok, it was a long time ago." Lauren said trying to appease Leah. "Though back then everyone looked down on me for not having a father. I went away for a year to live with my grandparents and when I came back it was as if I was a whole different person. They still treated me differently and I know what they say behind my back," Lauren said trying to ignore the pain, bitterness lacing her voice.

It suddenly dawned on her, "I guess you didn't forget how they treated you before you left, uh?"

Lauren nodded, "That's why I never bothered being friends with them. Don't get me wrong, I went out with them and hanged with them at school but after the incident at the beach, I don't know, it was as if something snapped."

"Why's that?"

Lauren shook her head but spoke anyway, "When I went back to school after what happened at the beach everyone was whispering how I deserved what I got and that I had it coming. The least they could do was tell me to my face but apparently they're all cowards."

"Man, what a bunch of losers but why would they say that stuff?"

"When I came back from Minnesota they all wanted to get to know me or something and I shut them down without giving anyone a chance except for Jessica who's like a leech and once she's attached to you, you can't get rid of her."

They both snickered after the leech comment. Lauren face became a cold mask, "They started saying awful things about me and the idiots think that I don't know. So yeah they started calling me a bitch and the ice princess…" she trailed off.

"We're both really messed up, aren't we?"

"I guess we are," Lauren said after a long pause.

They finished their coffee silently. Before they left Lauren offered Leah to come over to her house whenever she got extremely bored.

"Just text me before you decide to come over," Lauren stated as they said goodbye in the parking lot.

* * *

The next day she went to meet Jacob at the beach. The weather was getting colder as the days went by, still they had decided to meet at the beach for what was left of the summer. They would probably start taking turns hanging at their houses for the rest of the fall and winter.

When she arrived he was already waiting for her in their usual spot.

"Hey sweetheart," Jake said patting the place beside him, "How was your first week of school?"

Lauren snickered sitting beside him on the towel, "God, you sound like a proud parent!"

"Well, how was it?" Jake decided to ignore her comment.

"Really boring actually, the same classes with the same people, just with more homework," she let out an exasperated sigh.

"How was your week?" she asked looking at him expectantly.

"Just about the same as yours," he said throwing a wink at her. Lauren just giggled and shoved him a bit with her shoulder playfully.

"God, I just want to graduate and get as far away from this hellhole," she leaned back, resting her elbows in the towel.

"Was your week that bad that all you can think about is leaving me here after you graduate?" Lauren knew he was teasing her, she knew that he wanted to get the hell out of this place just as badly as her.

"What do you think?" Lauren decided to tease him back.

"That either you take me with you in one of your many suitcases when you finally decide to leave or move in with me while I finish my senior year so we can create some decent gossip."

Lauren let out a soft laugh, "Right, because there isn't enough gossip going around at my expense."

Jake gave her a brief glance before turning back to watch the waves.

"You know you take things way to seriously, right?" he took one of her small hands in his own, his thumb making small circles on the back of her palm.

The playful mood they were enjoying before banished.

"Jake, I know what people say behind my back, and believe me it stopped bothering me a long time ago," she gave his hand a light squeeze.

He huffed, "They shouldn't talk about you either way."

That comment alone touched some deep part of her that she thought had been lost when her grandfather died. She leaned her head and rested in Jacob's shoulder.

"No one's ever cared before, I just learned to ignore it, even before I moved to my grandparents' house in Minnesota. People here will always look at me differently because I don't have a father."

Jake tried interrupting her but she shushed him, "And before you say that we're in the same boat, your dad's the chief of the tribe, he's lived all his life here, everyone knew and loved your mother, besides the people at the reservation aren't as hostile as some of the people in Forks," she felt his hand tighten in hers.

"In my case, and it may sound a bit conceited, the town didn't know my parents before everything happened, and then when my mother and I came to live here, my grandfather died shortly afterwards. And before that they weren't even a part of the community. They were both born and raised in New York but when my grandfather decided to retire he thought it was best to move to a quiet town where no one knew them."

Lauren felt her eyes water and tried to calm herself. She went through some of this with her psychologist when her grandfather passed away. Still it appeared it was a very sore subject.

"They'll never see my family as a part of this town, just as they don't see the Cullens as a part of their community either. Even when Dr. Cullen is one of the best doctors Forks Hospital has ever had, they still view them as some sort of outsiders."

Jacob stayed quiet. He let go of her hand and wrapped his arms around her tightly. The tears she had been holding in finally fell from her eyes. She shook silently, trying and failing miserably to stifle a sob.

"Let it all out sweetheart," one of Jake's hands started to go through her hair gently, willing her to calm down. She thought that she was over this. Apparently her psychologist had done a very crappy job. Deep down she resented this town because since she arrived they had treated her differently, from being ignored and looked down on, to worshiped and hated by her classmates when she returned a year later. Oh how she wished she could just forget everything and move on but as they say, nobody's perfect.

Holding on to that anger and resentment did nothing for her, she knew that the people who talked about her didn't lose any sleep over her. She just tied herself in knots over nothing. She was just a source for their entertainment. Maybe that's why she got along so well with Leah. She sympathized with her situation and they were both stubborn and easy to anger. Snapping at people for assuming things they didn't know anything about.

Jacob was clearly an exception. He was her complete polar opposite. Even when they both suffered great loses, he was friendly to anyone he met, always staying positive and seeing the best in people. Still she wouldn't give him up for anything in the world.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Neither saying a word. They both watched the waves as the sun began to set on the horizon.

"You must think I'm a complete nut job," it came out between a laugh and a sob.

Jake chuckled slightly, "Whatever gave you that idea?" she looked up to him and raised a delicate eyebrow.

"I guess the first week back to school really got to me," she sighed softly.

"You don't say," he looked down at her and pushed a strand of her soft hair behind her ear and pulled it softly, "You know that I'll always be here for you, right?"

She gave him a small smile and pulled him tightly to her, burying her face in his neck. He was probably the only person that she felt comfortable enough to hug without feeling suffocated, "Ditto," she whispered against his skin and felt his chest rumble slightly with suppressed laughter.

"What on earth am I going to do with you?"

"Oh shut up!" she finally laughed, "You're my best friend. You're stuck with me."

"And I won't have it any other way," he lips brushed the top of her head softly.

After a while they decided to head their separate ways, Lauren told him she'd give him a call if anything came up during the week. He insisted in walking her to her car and gave her one final hug before she got in and drove away from the beach.

* * *

After that weekend Lauren felt as if a small weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She knew that she still had a lot of issues to deal with but somehow Leah and especially Jake had helped her lessen some of the burden.

She kept replaying her conversation with Jake for the rest of the weekend. Even if he was unaware of it he had helped her a great deal. He always did, one way or another. She admitted, if only to herself, that she may have started to have feeling for him deeper than those of a friend. Feelings she was planning on ignoring. He was her best friend. She wasn't going to ruin it by acting on them. She needed him too much. Nothing good could come of it if she told him.

* * *

The next week went by in a blur. With homework and apparently Leah who decided to take her up on the offer to crash at her house whenever she was bored, Lauren had her hands completely full.

It came as a surprise when she heard that little Bella Swan went missing that Friday evening. She had decided that this year she was going to ignore Bella and all the drama that surrounded her and was actually trying to forget what had really happened that day at First Beach. She knew that Bella was still going out with Edward, she was somewhat grateful and irritated at the same time because it meant people focused less on her, everywhere she went someone would say something about the two lovebirds. It was all extremely gag worthy.

She was watching a horror movie and eating ice cream with Leah when her mother had called to let her now that there was a search party going around the woods behind Chief Swan's house. Apparently she had been missing the whole afternoon. Her mother also told her that Dr. Cullen had quit his job at the hospital that morning because he got offered a better job and decided to move his family to California that very same day.

Leah was just as shocked as her. The abrupt departure of the Cullens and the sudden disappearance of Bella was a very frightening coincidence. And watching a horror movie about a masked man going around killing teenagers in the woods wasn't helping one bit.

Leah decided to stay the night, calling her home to let her parents know where she was and to pass along the news about Bella and the Cullens.

"Do you think they killed her and dumped her in the woods?" Leah said between spoonfuls of vanilla ice cream.

Lauren chuckled darkly, "God, morbid much?"

"Well you cant blame me, I bet you're thinking along the same lines, isn't it weird that she disappeared when they decided to move away?"

Lauren looked thoughtful, "It certainly looks that way."

"Or maybe they took her with them," Lauren was skeptical at best. With Bella being the daughter of the Chief of Police it would be practically impossible to get away with kidnapping her. Then again, so was the theory of dumping her body in the woods.

They ended up watching another movie before they decided to called it a night. Lauren showed Leah to the guestroom that was right across the hall from her own. She gave her a pair of pajamas and told her to come and get her if she needed anything. She went to her room to change and went to bed still thinking of possible theories of what might have happened to Bella; deep down she had a really bad feeling.

* * *

The next morning she got out of bed really tired. It had been almost impossible to sleep. She had stayed in her bed all night waiting to hear her mother arrive or the phone ring. She gave up trying to sleep when she noticed it was already morning.

Lauren decided to check on Leah and saw that her friend was still fast asleep. She debated on whether or not to wake her up and remembered that they had stayed up late last night and instead went down to the kitchen to get something to eat. When she arrived she found Annie already busy making breakfast.

"Morning Annie," Lauren walked in and sat on one of the kitchen stools.

Annie let out a startled shriek when she heard Lauren speak.

"Lauren Christie!" she scolded. "I out to put a bell around your neck!"

Lauren broke into a feat of giggles, "Sorry, I wasn't being stealthy on purpose, you must've been really preoccupied to hear me come in."

"What are you doing up so early, it's Saturday you know?" Annie went back to what she was doing before Lauren interrupted her.

"Yeah I know," she sighed softy, "I actually didn't get much sleep last night, after a while I gave up and came down for some food."

"Before I forget, your mother called a while ago and told me to let you know that they found the Chief's daughter alive. She said that one of boys from the reservation found her in the woods behind her house."

"I didn't hear the phone ring," Lauren's shoulders sagged slightly, "Did she say anything else?"

"Just that the girl was in shock because apparently her boyfriend broke up with her but she's physically unharmed."

Lauren nodded slowly. It was a long stretch to hope for her mother to ask for her or inquire if she was all right or something. Well at least now she knew that the Cullens hadn't dumped her in the woods but the uneasiness she felt was still there.

Annie must have noticed that that was not the answer Lauren was hoping for, "Why don't you go to the living room while I finish making breakfast?" she told Lauren kindly.

"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Lauren asked without too much enthusiasm.

"I'm sure, now get out of my kitchen!" Annie ordered playfully.

"I'm going, I'm going, sheesh! You're really bossy, you know?" Lauren headed for the door and turned around suddenly.

"Oh Leah stayed over last night."

"I know, I saw her car earlier still parked in the driveway."

"Alright, just wanted to let you know," Lauren finally left the kitchen and on her way to the living room she saw Leah coming down the stairs.

"Hey, did you sleep well?" Lauren said waiting for Leah at the bottom of the stairs.

"Pretty good actually, you?"

"Not so lucky," Lauren took the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV. They both sat down on the plush couch with their legs tucked under them, "My mind just wouldn't shut down and was waiting to see if my mother called or something."

"Well you know what they say," Leah snickered, "No news is good news."

Lauren snorted, "I don't think its good in this case."

"What's got you so edgy?" Leah looked at her with worry, "You don't even like this Bella girl."

"I don't know I just have this unsettling feeling that something's going to go very wrong and it has nothing to do with what happened yesterday," she sighed tiredly, "Oh by the way Annie said my mother called earlier, apparently I didn't hear the phone ring and told her that they found Bella in the woods behind her house, she went in there and was being a drama queen because her boyfriend broke up with her."

Leah looked thoughtful, "Uh… wasn't she dating one of the Cullens?"

"Yeah, but my mother said last night that they decided to move to California or something, remember?" Lauren shrugged, "Besides, what did she expect? Long distance relationships never work."

"Who knows what actually happened last night," Leah shrugged.

"And I don't actually care, just as long as she stays the hell out of my way."

"Here's to hoping," Leah laughed making Lauren break out in quiet snickers.

A while later they heard Annie calling them to the kitchen saying breakfast was ready.

* * *

Leah went home later that day, making Lauren promise to call her if anything else came up. She was glad that Leah actually had a cell phone. She had tried to convince Jake to get one but he told her that he didn't need one. _That boy could be so infuriating sometimes. _Maybe she could give him one as a Christmas present.

Early that afternoon Lauren decided to get ready for her weekly visit to La Push. She was a bit nervous. After trying and failing miserably to convince herself that what she was feeling for Jake was just extreme gratitude for being there when she desperately needed someone, she tried telling herself to calm down.

She got there first and settled down on their spot waiting for Jake to arrive. Lauren decided not to bring up the topic of Bella's disappearance. She was glad when Jake didn't bring it up either. She still felt uneasy but tried to calm herself. She had nothing to fear, nothing bad was going to happen. And these feelings would go away with time.

And at least come Monday morning she wouldn't be the topic of conversation at school, which made her feel more than a little bit giddy. Oh she couldn't wait for Monday to come.

* * *

_He left. He's gone. He's gone! What am I going to do now? How could he leave me? He said he loved me. Me, only me! It can't be. He promised he would stay with me forever. I was part of his family. The family I've always wanted. He'll come back. He has to come back. How could he say that he didn't love me anymore? It has to be a lie. He'll come back and beg me to take him back. I know he will. He has to. How dare he leave me here? He said I was he's soul mate. Alice! Alice can see the future. If she sees that I've moved on she'll tell him and he'll come running back. And I'll make him beg. Beg me to take him back. I'll make him suffer for leaving me. No one leaves me. Who can I use to make him come back? Maybe Mike or Tyler? No, they'll be too obvious. I know! Jacob Black. It could work. I'll have to wait some time so it looks like I'm grieving. Then I'll give him a visit. Alice will see. She has to. She'll tell him. He'll come back. I know he will. And he'll suffer. Oh, I'll make him suffer._

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update, some problems came up and had to put the story on hold for a while. Also we get a little glimpse inside Bella's head. I'm thinking about bumping the rating to M, let me know what you think. ****Thanks to the people who followed, favorited and reviewed this story!**_  
_


	8. Songbird

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

******A/N: Hopefully from here on the story will go AU with still some elements from the books. Thanks to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed this story!**

* * *

Songbird

_"To you, I'll give the world  
__To you, I'll never be cold  
__'Cause I feel that when I'm with you,  
__It's alright, I know it's right."_

* * *

Monday came and everyone was talking about the same thing, the Cullens leaving Forks and Bella Swan's collapse.

Lauren was really pleased that at least for the time being she wasn't the latest topic of conversation that week. Rumors about her came and went. First when she first came to live to Forks, then when her grandfather passed away, again when she came back after the year she and her mother took off and later after she almost drowned at First Beach.

When she got out of her car she was surprised to see Jessica waiting for her. It was the first time that Jessica approached her after months of speaking only when necessary. Of course all she wanted to do right now was gossip. Lauren gave her a fake smile as she approached her.

"Hi Jess."

"Did you hear that the Cullens left for no apparent reason?"

_Hello to you too_, she thought sarcastically. Lauren contemplated just ignoring her and continue walking but answered anyway, "Yeah, mom told me that Dr. Cullen quit last Friday morning. Though it was because he got offered a better job somewhere else."

At least she was telling the truth. She heard some of the rumors that were already going around and some of them were completely ridiculous. Some were saying that the Cullens ran away because Edward had gotten Bella pregnant and didn't want to tie himself down, others said it was because Edward wanted to dump Bella and couldn't face her afterwards. Whatever the reason, people in this town always went for the most outrageous ones.

"If you say so," Jessica rolled her eyes. Lauren was desperately waiting for the bell to ring so she could escape to the safety of the classrooms.

"Anyway did you hear about Bella? They said that she tried to kill herself in the woods, I think she just wanted to get everybody's attention now that she doesn't have a boyfriend anymore."

Now it was Lauren who rolled her eyes. She really didn't want to talk about that girl. For whatever the reason she got lost in the woods she wasn't interested. As long as Bella kept her drama away from her she would act as if Bella didn't exist.

Finally the bell rang and they both headed to first period. Unluckily for Lauren shared that class with Bella.

When she made it to the classroom everybody was talking in hushed tones. Lauren noticed that Bella was sitting at the back of the class, and to no ones surprise Mike was sitting beside her. Jessica made a beeline and sat on Bella's other side patting her back in sympathy.

Lauren looked at her closely. She looked weird, well weirder than usual. Her hair was a mess for starters; she looked like she had been wearing the same clothes for days and she seemed to still be in shock. Oh well, she said she wouldn't be butting in so she sat near the front of the room and waited for the teacher to arrive.

* * *

As the weeks went by the rumor mill started to calm down. Once they saw that the Cullens weren't coming back and that Bella wasn't talking to anyone about it they began to focus on other topics.

Lauren was still concentrating on her homework, still hanging out with Leah almost daily and ignoring the occasional brave or stupid boy who approached her to ask her out. She started filling out the paperwork needed to get into college. She still had several options but her first one was still Cornell and was trying to get Leah to apply with her or at least to apply to a university near Cornell. Leah still wasn't sure and wanted to keep her options open.

"I have to go somewhere that gives me a scholarship. You're lucky that your grandparents set a college trust fund. You can go practically anywhere you want, with or without a scholarship."

"If it's about money I can help you." Lauren pleaded.

Leah snorted, "Thanks but I don't need charity."

"Why do you have to be so difficult?" Lauren rolled her eyes, "It's not charity, I'm doing it for my benefit, you're like a sister to me and I'd do anything for you."

"I know and I feel the same way but I don't want to take your money," she insisted.

"What If I let you pay me back whenever you can?"

"I don't know, I'll think about it ok?" Leah finally relented.

"Promise?" Lauren said hopefully.

"I promise."

They continued looking for colleges for the rest of the afternoon. Lauren would be eternally grateful if Leah went to the same college as her or at least somewhere near.

She had become rather attached to Leah. They couldn't be more alike even if they were related. They had become practically inseparable since they had volunteered at the hospital. Leah still sometimes got angry over Sam but she was much better now thanks to Lauren letting her scream herself raw when she got extremely pissed. Which lately was becoming more frequent. Lauren thought that with time it would start to hurt less but apparently she was wrong. Leah's parents began to notice her increased good mood when Leah was at their home. She confessed that it was because Lauren helped her vent some of her anger. Her parents were intrigued and asked her to invite Lauren over to dinner sometime. After all, they had heard so much about her and had yet to meet her.

* * *

A week later Lauren found herself getting ready to have dinner over at Leah's house. She was a bit nervous over meeting her parents. After all the rumors that went around she was afraid that they would look down on her.

She finished getting ready and gave herself the customary once over in the mirror, checking to make sure that everything was perfect. The weather was getting colder so she decided to wear a white long-sleeve sweater dress with dark skinny jeans underneath finishing her outfit with a pair of black high heel boots. Once she was satisfied she went downstairs. She noticed that her mother wasn't home yet which was nothing new and decided to write her a note telling her where she went. She left the note in the foyer table beside the bowl where they kept the car keys. She grabbed her keys and locked the door behind her.

During the drive down to La Push she kept going mentally over the last couple of weeks. She had noticed that Jake had gone through one hell of a growth spurt. And if Lauren didn't know better she'd think that both him and Leah were related. Lately he had let his nonexistent temper get the better of him. Just last week they had their first serious fight. And it was over nothing.

She had arrived a bit late at the beach and he was already waiting for her. She saw him pacing around their spot and as she approached him she noticed that he was quite livid. When he saw her he exploded.

"Couldn't you have let me know you were going to be late?" he practically screamed at her.

"What the hell Jake?" she screamed back, "I'm not even 20 minutes late!"

"Would it kill you to be on time?" he yelled back. He was standing right in front of her, making her take a step back so she could look at his face.

"What's this really about?" she was trying really hard to calm herself. She couldn't believe that he had gotten this angry over her being 20 minutes late. She saw as some of Jake's anger left his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I just had a really shitty week."

"Do you want to talk about it?" she offered as she sat down in the sand. She didn't bother laying down a towel.

He sighed and joined her in the sand. She took his hand and started playing with his fingers.

"It's Embry," he kept his eyes on the waves, "He missed school Monday and Tuesday, I tried calling him but his mother told me that he was sick. He came back on Wednesday as if nothing had happened. He chopped off all of his hair and avoided Quil and I like the plague."

"Did you find out what happened?" she asked barely above a whisper.

"No, well, not what happened those days he was sick but Quil saw him hanging out with Sam and his friends Jared and Paul this morning," Lauren noticed that the anger in his voice was back and he was squeezing her hand to the point that it was causing her pain.

"Jake stop it!" she yelped pulling her hand out of his.

He immediately let go of her, "I'm sorry sweetheart," he took her hand again and rubbed it with both of his, "It's just that Sam's a jerk and now Embry's hanging out with him and apparently we aren't good enough for him anymore and it just makes me so angry."

Lauren kneeled beside him and pulled him into a tight hug. She hadn't noticed that he was trembling. And was he running a slight fever? He didn't look sick to her. She suddenly found herself practically sitting on his lap as he decided to return the hug. All thoughts of Jake being sick went completely out the window. She blushed lightly when he buried his head in her hair, his lips brushing softly against her neck.

They stayed that way until Jacob finally decided to speak, "I just can't believe it. I've known Embry since forever and out of the blue he just stopped talking to me."

She noticed that one of Jake's hands was clutching tightly to the back of her neck while the other started rubbing her back as if to reassure himself that she was really there.

"You know I'll always be here for you, right?" she whispered in his ear. "Just like you always tell me you're there for me."

"I know," he said, his hot breath hitting her neck making her shiver slightly.

"Are you cold?" he said looking at her. He noticed for the first time the position they were in and blushed.

"Yeah a bit," she smirked slowly.

"Maybe we should call it a day," he practically jumped bringing Lauren with him, "We should probably start meeting somewhere else too, the weather is just going to get worse."

Lauren wanted to laugh. Jake was looking anywhere but her and he looked really cute while he was still blushing. Well at least flustered Jake was better than livid Jake. Her job was done.

He insisted on walking her to her car and she offered him a ride. He declined saying that a bit of walking would do him good. He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, telling her to drive safely.

* * *

She snapped out of the memory when she finally arrived at the Clearwater's home. It was a very nice looking two-story house. It was painted white with the windowpanes in dark green. It looked really cozy. She parked behind Leah's car and killed the engine getting out and closing the door behind her. She took a deep breath and climbed the steps, knocking twice on the door.

It opened almost instantly and a guy that didn't look 15 was standing on the threshold.

"You must be Lauren, I'm Seth," he said with a wide smile. She just nodded dumbly. Leah told her that her brother was 14 or was it 15? He was tall and appeared to be developing some serious muscle. He motioned for her to come in and closed the door behind her. _What the hell where they feeding these people?_ First Jake and now this kid, maybe Leah had lied to her and told her that her brother was younger when he apparently was older than 15.

"Leah said that you worked with her at the hospital," he stated casually, "Was she being a bitch when you met her?"

Lauren's eyes widened. He had shocked her speechless again.

"Shut up Seth!" Leah screamed as she came down the stairs, "What did I tell you about asking that type of questions?"

Seth let out a raucous laugh, "I was only messing with you; she's actually a bitch to everyone."

Lauren burst out laughing while Leah hit the back of her brother head. "Hey! What's with the violence? I was just being honest!" he gave Lauren a mischievous wink.

Leah just shook her head, "Watch it or I'll do it again."

"You must be Lauren."

Lauren whirled around and met a pair of hazel eyes just like Leah's. The woman that was standing behind them was gorgeous and looked very young. She could probably pass off as Leah's older sister.

"Yeah I am, nice to meet you," Lauren said offering her hand to Leah's mother.

"I'm Sue, and I see you already met Seth," she chucked heartedly shaking Lauren's hand.

Lauren giggled as she saw Seth grimace when Leah punched him playfully in the arm.

"Well dinner is almost ready, why don't you kids go to the living room?" Sue said, shooing them in the direction, "Your father called a while ago saying he was on his way."

Half an hour later the five of them were sitting in the dining room. Lauren was introduced to Harry Clearwater when he arrived shortly after they were sent to the living room. Lauren had fallen completely in love with Leah's parents. They were the perfect family. She was happy and a bit jealous of Leah. Her mother had met Leah one time and it was completely rushed because she had to get to the hospital, she barely spared a 'hello nice to meet you' and she was out the door like a bullet and that was with Leah practically living at Lauren's home. And here she was with a family that loved each other dearly; she could see it shining out in their eyes.

Dinner went smoothly with the occasional joke from Seth who kept trying to embarrass Leah at every turn, with Leah hitting him repeatedly on the back of the head which got her disapproving looks from both her parents.

After they finished eating dessert they all went to sit in the living room. Lauren heard Seth talking about some friends from school and how they were planning on going camping soon. Leah just kept rolling her eyes at her brother but Lauren saw that she wasn't really annoyed. They talked for about another hour and then Lauren excused herself telling them she had to head home.

On the drive back to her house she thought about how much she enjoyed having dinner at Leah's house. She left promising to come by more often. She was so happy they had accepted her with open arms. She hadn't had a dinner like that in years. She felt a small pang of pain in her chest. She really missed her family as it used to be a long time ago.

When she arrived home she found her mother sitting alone in the dining room. She was about to head up to her bedroom when she called her over.

"Honey can you come in here for a minute?"

Lauren walked in and sat in the chair in front of her mother. She noticed that her eyes were a bit red. She must have been crying, but why?

"I have something to tell you," her mother said stiffly, "I got a call earlier at the hospital from your grandmother's house. The housekeeper said that they couldn't wake her up and had called an ambulance and then they called me. I was there when the ambulance arrived at the hospital and it looked like she had a stroke while she was sleeping, there was nothing left for me to do."

Lauren felt as all the air in her lungs left her body. Her eyes began to water and her vision blurred. She tried to speak but she couldn't even breathe. How could her mother be so clinical about something like this? She couldn't breathe! She began chanting in her head, _not again, not again, not again_.

"Lauren, honey, are you alright?" her mother's voice seemed to be coming from far away. Spots clouded her vision and then everything went black.

* * *

She woke up in her room. _How did she get here?_ The last thing she remembered was driving home after having dinner at Leah's house. Then it all came back. Her grandmother was dead. She felt guilt wash over her. She should have visited more often. She felt as tears began to fall down her face. _Oh god not again! _Just when everything seemed to be going fine it had to come crashing down _again_.

She covered her mouth trying to stifle a sob. Her grandmother died alone. A small part of her was happy that her grandmother died peacefully and was now with her daddy and grandfather. But the biggest part was heartbroken.

She heard her bedroom door open and her mother walked in with a worried look on her face.

"Are you feeling better?" she sat on the bed beside her. _Feeling better?_ She felt wretched. She should have visited more often. She knew her grandmother didn't like her mother but she still loved _her_. She should have visited and had dinner with her or just gone over to check to see how she was feeling. _She died alone!_

"How does it look like I'm feeling?" she snapped. She instantly regretted it but couldn't bring herself to apologize. Her mother flinched.

"I'm sorry Lauren," her mother spoke softly, "There was nothing I could have done."

_God she died alone_. She started sobbing loudly as she folded her legs and wrapped her arms around herself. Tears were now falling freely down her face.

"Can you leave me alone for a while?" she said between sobs. She couldn't deal with her mother sitting there beside her. She just wanted to be left alone. Her mother just patted her back and stood up.

"If you need anything I'll be in my room."

She closed the door quietly behind her. When she heard her mother walk down the hall Lauren buried her face in one of the pillows and screamed. She screamed and screamed until her throat felt raw. Still the tears wouldn't stop falling. She got out of bed and opened her bedroom door quietly. She looked down the hall and saw that her mother's door was closed.

She headed downstairs to her mother's study and opened the door slowly hoping it wouldn't make a sound. Once she was inside she went directly to the cabinet behind her mother's desk. Luckily for her it was unlocked. She opened it and pulled out a bottle of whisky. She noticed that the bottle was almost full. She shrugged, her mother wouldn't notice if it went missing.

Lauren went back to her room and locked the door after closing it. She crept back to her bed and opened the bottle taking a big swig. She swallowed, the alcohol burning a path down her throat. She coughed slightly and took another swig.

Memories of the times she spent with her grandparents started playing in her mind. _God what was she going to do?_ She should have visited her more often. Hell, she should have at least called her grandmother just to let her know that she loved her. She started sobbing again. She suddenly didn't want to be alone anymore. But she didn't want her mother in there with her.

She could call Jake. She looked at the clock in her bedside table. It was still relatively early. She got out of her bed again and searched for her purse. It was laying on one of her green armchairs. She fetched her phone and went back to her bed.

She searched through the phonebook until she reached his name and hit send. Jake finally answered on the fourth ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake," her voice sounded raw and broken.

"Lauren? What's wrong?" he sounded a bit panicked over the line. She wasn't really sure.

"Jake can you come over?" she sobbed, "Please?"

"Is everything alright? Did something happen?" he was scared; she wasn't imagining it.

She tried talking in between sobs, "Jake… please…"

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you," she whispered. He hung up the phone and the line went dead. She started sobbing harder. She took another mouthful of the bitter liquid. It didn't burn as it did after the first drink. The pain in her chest wasn't going away, but her body was buzzing slightly. She felt that the alcohol was at least helping a bit.

About half an hour later she heard something hit her window. She wasn't sure if she was imagining things. But then she heard it again. She took a peek through the window and saw that Jake was throwing small rocks at it. She waved at him and motioned for him to wait there.

She went down the stairs and headed for the backdoor in the kitchen. She left the bottle in the counter and went to unlock the door. She opened it and saw Jake standing there, waiting for her. She jumped in his arms wrapping her legs around him as she started crying again.

"What the hell happened sweetheart?" he whispered as he buried his face in her hair. He was holding her tightly as he closed the door. Walking into the kitchen he set Lauren down on the counter. She refused to let go of him. He sighed as he stood with her legs still wrapped around him. He started rubbing her back and her hair, trying in vain to get Lauren to calm down.

"My grandmother's dead," she whispered with a broken sob, "My mother said she had a heart attack."

"Oh Lauren," he hugged her tightly, "I'm so sorry!"

"She died alone Jake," she started crying loudly, "I should have been there, she had no one but me!" she finished miserably.

"Shh sweetheart," he kissed the top of her head, "You didn't know it was going to happen."

"That's no excuse!" she sobbed brokenly, "After we moved to this house I used to visit her every chance I could get. But I started going less when we came back from Minnesota. I should have at least called her to know how she was doing."

"It's not your fault sweetheart," he said as he smoothed down her hair.

She felt the pain in her chest pulse. She was a horrible person. How could she let her grandmother die alone?

She tightened her hold on Jake. Fearing that if she let go he would disappear. Where had she dumped the bottle? She looked around and spotted it beside her on the counter. She grabbed it and was about to take a drink when Jake took the bottle out of her hand.

"Getting drunk is not the solution Lauren," he whispered fiercely.

"Give it back Jake," she tried taking the bottle out of Jake's hand, "It helps dull the pain in my chest."

Jake saw as more tears began streaming down her pretty face. It killed him to see her suffering that way. He just shook his head and placed the bottle out of her reach.

"Lauren you don't need to drink."

"But it hurts so much Jake."

"It will hurt less with time, nothing else is going to make it go away," he ran his thumb over her moist cheek, wiping the tears softly from her face.

"It never goes away," she looked into his eyes, she could see that he was in pain too, "I tried, I really tried but it's always there. Sometimes it hurts less, but it never goes away."

Jake didn't know what to say to that. He had never seen her this open, she would never admit everything she just said if she hadn't resorted to drinking right now. He knew that she'd been through a lot, probably more than him and to know that she'd never stopped hurting. He felt powerless and knew there was nothing for him to do but be there for her.

"Can we go up to my room? I want to lay down for a bit."

"What about your mom?" he asked nervously.

Lauren shook her head, "She's probably asleep and she won't go in my room to check up on me because I told her I wanted to be alone."

"You sure?" there was still a bit of doubt in his dark eyes.

Lauren nodded slowly, "Yeah, don't worry."

Jake took a hold of her waist and lifted her from the counter releasing her gently when her feet touched the floor. She took one of his hands and led him to the foyer and up the stairs to her room.

Once they were inside she locked the door and guided him to her bed, "Can you stay for a while?" she asked him with a small voice; it still sounded raspy from all the screaming she had done earlier.

"As long as you want me here," he pulled her gently down with him and gathered her in his arms. She was running her hand lightly against his jaw while the other rested on his chest. They were both looking into each other's eyes, hers reflecting the pain and guilt she felt, his shining with untold emotions.

"I don't know what I would have done without you," she whispered and ever so gently she leaned over and brushed her lips softly against his. His only response was to tighten his arms around her as they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Another chapter out, hope you like! Any feedback would be most welcome. The next chapter is almost finished but with the holidays coming up I'm not sure if i'll have time to update again until after New Year's. And as always the link to the chapter's song is on my profile.**


	9. Everything I Own

**Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.**

* * *

Everything I own

"And I would give anything I own  
Would give up my life, my heart, my home  
I would give everything I own  
Just to have you back again"

* * *

Lauren woke up and noticed her room was still dark. She felt warm arms surrounding her and tensed. She looked over her shoulder and found Jake snoring softly behind her, she let out a sigh of relief as last night's events replayed in her mind. She turned around and snuggled closer. She didn't want to get up and face the world, a world where her grandmother wasn't in it.

Lauren had to admit she felt a bit better than yesterday. She still felt somewhat remorseful but she understood that there was nothing she could have done. She knew that she would carry the guilt for not being there for her grandmother for a long time. She was probably blocking some of the pain or her mind was trying to assimilate the situation. Either way she felt better.

Lauren noticed Jake's arms tighten around her and noticed that he'd stopped snoring. That could only mean one thing.

"Hey," his breathe fanned against her hair.

"Hi," she whispered burying her head in his chest.

"How're you feeling?"

"Better, I guess," she said after a while. In fact she hadn't felt this good in a long time. Being in Jake's arms was heaven. Lauren remembered that she'd kissed him before falling asleep last night. She felt happy and miserable at the same time and decided not to bring it up. If by some bizarre reason he felt the same way as her she'd let him make the first move. Lauren didn't want to leave his arms but she had a lot to do. Sighing regretfully she untangled herself from Jake's arms and got off the bed.

"Where are you going?" he said after yawning and stretching in her bed, "It's still early."

"I know, but I have to get ready. I don't know what my grandmother wanted done and I probably need to call the lawyer that managed her estate."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Lauren noticed the hopeful tone in his voice but she remembered how private her grandparents were. Lauren wanted nothing more than to have Jake by her side, helping her through the whole thing but she had to do this alone.

"I've got this," she said, eyeing him one last time and walked to the bathroom, "You can wait here or head down to the kitchen for something to eat," she offered before closing the door behind her.

Lauren turned the shower on and then looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying and had dark circles under her eyes, she looked a fright and Jake hadn't made fun of her. He must really be worried, she thought fondly. _Oh shit_. She had to call Leah to let her know. Not that there was anything Leah could do right now but she would probably try to kill her later for not telling her.

She took her clothes off and got in the shower. The water was scalding hot; it made her feel better and actually helped her relax. She grabbed the shampoo squeezing some in her palm and started lathering her hair before stepping into the shower spray. It was going to be a very long day.

* * *

When she finished getting dressed she opened the bathroom door to find her room empty. She assumed that Jake was in the kitchen having breakfast and headed downstairs.

Lauren found him talking with Annie in the kitchen, who was already busy over by the stove.

"Morning Annie," she said, taking a seat in the stool beside Jake. He nudged her with his leg and took her hand. A warm feeling started to spread throughout her chest. It wasn't strange for them to hold hands but deep inside she knew this was different. He had seen her at her all time low and he still wanted to be there with her.

"Don't 'morning Annie' me," the housekeeper said sternly, "You're lucky your mother already left for the hospital, if she found out you had a boy over, even one as good looking as this one," she looked at Jake who just shrugged blushing, "I don't want to know what would've happened."

"I know," heat travel from her neck all the way up to her face, "But it was an emergency."

"Is that what you kids call it this days?" this time she saw Jake shaking silently with suppressed laughter. _It wasn't funny!_ Is that what Annie thought of her?

Lauren's eyes shinned with unshed tears, "My mother told me last night that grandma Martha had a heart attack and passed away," she said as a tear slid down her face. That comment sobered everyone up.

"Oh honey!" Annie came over, embracing her in a tight hug. Lauren kept holding Jake's hand throughout the hug. She felt him clutch her hand firmly in support.

"I'm so sorry Lauren; your mother didn't say anything before she left." Lauren noticed the irritation in Annie's voice.

"It's alright," she said finally managing to free herself from the suffocating embrace, "They actually hated each other. I was really shocked that my mother cried at all last night."

"That's no excuse," Jake said tugging her back to the stool. He knew all about the relationship between her mother and grandmother, "She should've said something."

"Yeah, but there's nothing I can do," Lauren huffed, "she couldn't even take the day off to arrange everything."

"I knew that they didn't get along very well," Annie said as she stirred a steaming pot on the stove, "But this is just plain disrespectful."

"That's my mother for you," Lauren said bitterly, she felt Jake's hand tighten around hers, "Work will always comes first for her."

The three of them ate breakfast quietly. When the finished eating Lauren took Jake's hand again and pulled him towards her mother's study. She was planning on calling Leah first. Then she had to go through her mother's Rolodex for the lawyer's number.

Lauren took the phone from the desk and sat down in one of the leather armchairs and dialed Leah's house. Meanwhile Jake was standing behind her playing with her hair, which somehow managed to calm her frayed nerves.

"Clearwater residence."

"Hey Seth, it's Lauren," she felt Jake's hand stop moving, "Can you put Leah on?"

"Hi Lauren, yeah let me get her."

She heard Seth shout, "Leah! Lauren's on the phone!" she let out a quiet giggle. Leah would probably hit him for screaming at her. She heard a muffled yelp and shuffling then she heard Leah yell something at Seth.

"What's up?" Leah said cheerfully over the phone.

Lauren's nerves came back full force and she felt once again Jake's hand going through her hair.

"Um, Leah, my grandmother passed away last night," she said quietly, "I just wanted to let you know."

"Oh my god!" Leah screamed, making Lauren wince, "Do you want me to come over?"

"Not right now, I got a lot of stuff to do."

"Are you sure?" this time Leah's voice came out at a normal level, "Are you alright?"

"I've had better days," she sighed quietly, "And yes I'm sure, though if I need anything I'll give you a call."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise," she managed a weak laugh.

After she hung up she found the name of her grandmother's lawyer. Her hands were shaking badly while she tried to dial the number. Suddenly Jake pulled her from the chair and sat her in his lap, wrapping an arm around her while the other started rubbing soothing circles in her arm.

"John Cutler's office."

Her grandmother's lawyer told her that all the arrangements for the funeral had been made. She left very clear instructions that she wanted to be cremated and wanted a small private service performed afterwards in her house with only Lauren and the household employees present. Her mother wasn't to be allowed anywhere near. Mr. Cutler said that he managed to get everything ready for that same Saturday afternoon and was actually about to call her to let her know and set up an appointment for Monday morning to go over the estate and sign the necessary paperwork.

She hung up after he gave her the address to his office in Port Angeles. She was quite relived that everything was already taken care of. It had been almost six months since she last visited her grandmother's house. She wondered if the people that had worked for her would look at her with resentment or anger for not being there or something. She wanted a smoke badly. She hadn't smoked since she came back from her summer vacation and if Jake found out he would probably scream at her. She remembered the disappointed look he gave her yesterday when she tried to drink some whisky. She felt his arms tighten around her as if to remind her that he was there for her. She laid her head on his shoulders and buried her face in his neck.

"Everything ok?" he brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"Yeah, everything's been taken care of. I just have to show up at five o'clock at her house for a private service."

"Do you want me to go with you?" he brushed his thumb across her jaw line.

She sighed softly, "I would love nothing more than to have you there but you can't come."

"Why not?"

"When my grandmother stated that she wanted a private service, she meant it. Not even my mother's allowed."

"Oh, isn't that a bit harsh?" she could tell he wanted to laugh and was shaking lightly trying to keep it in.

"You know that they couldn't stand each other," she did laugh although it sounded strained, "Does it actually surprise you that she would state that my mother couldn't attend?"

"From what you told me, it seems perfectly normal."

"Yeah normal…" she shrugged, "Do you want to watch some TV or something?"

"Anything you want," he tightened his arms around her one last time before releasing her and letting her stand up, "Just let me call my dad to let him now I'll be home later."

"Oh my god! What did you tell your dad when I called last night?" she blushed lightly.

Jake laughed and kissed her forehead, "Don't worry your pretty little head about it. I told him that you needed me and that I didn't know when I'd be back."

"Jake you really should get a cell phone, you're dad's probably worried sick."

"Sweetheart, we live in a really small town. He probably already knows what happened by now."

"Guess so," she said. She wondered what everyone was talking about now. How the old lady that lived at the big old house died alone or committed suicide or something just as ridiculous. The pain in her chest pulsed when she thought of her grandmother. It was going to be a long day indeed.

* * *

They ended up in the living room watching an action movie that Jake had never seen. He was lying on the couch with Lauren almost completely on top of him with her head resting on his chest while his hands were rubbing small circles on her back. At some point during the movie she fell asleep.

* * *

Jake woke her up around two o'clock in the afternoon. She was still tired, even though she slept throughout the night and a good portion of the morning. She felt quite comfortable and warm, safe.

"Five more minutes," she whined.

Jake chuckled quietly, "Sweetheart you have to get up and eat something. And you still have to get ready."

"Ugh, I'm not hungry," she knew she was acting like a petulant child but she didn't want to move.

Jake decided that it was time for her to get up and started tickling her ribs. She let out a loud yelp and tried to move away. She landed with a painful thud on the hardwood floor.

"Jake!" she shrieked, "There's a thousand ways to get me to move!"

"Sorry," he offered her a hand and she swatted it away getting up on her own. She walked to the kitchen thinking of ways to get her revenge.

* * *

It was four thirty and all she wanted to do was puke. Jake had stayed with her while she got ready. She really didn't want to go to her grandmother's house alone. She had called her mother earlier and she hung up on her when Lauren told her that they wouldn't let her anywhere near her grandmother's house. Jake had actually laughed, earning him a punch in the arm.

They were once again in the kitchen. She was sitting in the counter debating on whether or not to eat the apple in her hands to calm her stomach, while Jake was raiding the fridge _again_. The guy ate like there was no tomorrow.

"Are you finished eating all my food?" she asked sweetly.

He poked his head out of the fridge, "Very funny!"

"How many times have you eaten today?" she crossed her arms over her chest.

He closed the door and walked over to where she was sitting. He stood between her legs and rested his hands on either side of her.

"I haven't been keeping count," he whispered leaning towards her slightly. Lauren gulped nervously. While she was distracted looking at his lips he stole the apple she was clutching in her hand. _What a jackass!_ She felt torn between laughing and hitting him. She did both.

"That's mine!" she punched his chest, "God! How do you manage to stay fit with all the food you eat is beyond me," she knew she had said too much making her blush red.

"You think I have a great body?" Jake chuckled tilting his head to the side, Lauren watched as his eyes traveled the length of her body making her heart start beating a mile a minute. His eyes finally settled on her face while he slowly licked his lips, "Coming from you that's actually quite a compliment."

She tried hitting him again but before her hand met her target Jake grabbed it pulling her tightly against him, his other hand resting against the small of her back. Their eyes locked and for the life of her she couldn't look away. She wondered if Jake could feel her heart hammering in her chest. Her breath started coming out in short pants while his eyes seemed to be searching for something hidden within her very soul.

Jake apparently found what he was looking for when he closed the distance between them and brushed his lips softy against hers. She closed her eyes briefly and opened them when he pulled away. He seemed to be waiting for her to scream or hit him, when she did nothing he leaned in again. This time he took her bottom lip into his, brushing his tongue across it. Lauren opened her mouth slightly letting him explore it. Her free hand started running from his neck to his hair, pulling it slightly.

All thoughts went out the window. Lauren had never felt anything like this before. She moaned softly against his lips making Jake jump back.

"I'm so sorry!" he stammered, "I shouldn't have done that."

Lauren's heart lurched painfully in her chest. He didn't want her. Then why the hell did he kiss her? She couldn't get a word out. She thought that maybe he felt the same way but apparently she thought wrong.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, you're grieving and I'm taking advantage of it."

His words penetrated her foggy mind and she snorted in her head. As if he could take advantage of her.

She grabbed his shirt and pulled him against her again, kissing him hard on the lips. He froze for a moment and then started returning the kiss just as fiercely. If Jake thought he could get away from her he was in for a rude awakening. His hand found her neck while the other traveled up and down her back pulling her closer to him. Her hands were still fisting his shirt. They continued kissing until they had to come up for air.

"Wow," Jake whispered. He still had his arms around her. She wanted to stay that way forever but real life was waiting for her.

"Right back at you," Lauren sighed contently resting her head against his chest. She wanted to ask him why he had kissed her in the first place but didn't want to sound like the clingy girl who had to put a label on everything.

Jake seemed to be thinking along the same lines when he didn't say anything either. He started shuffling nervously from foot to foot and started playing with his hands. She just watched him silently. It was quite an amusing picture. It was normally the girl who got all flustered. She bowed to have a serious talk with him once everything was settled. For now she had other stuff that needed her undivided attention.

"I should get going," he said looking at the clock that was hanging over the microwave, "It's quarter to five and you have to drive all across town to your grandmother's house."

Lauren gave him a reassuring smile. She didn't know why he was so nervous. She wasn't going to bite his head off or anything. She leaped off the counter and smoothed down her black skirt.

"Yeah, I should probably head out if I want to get there in time."

She walked him to the front door. She opened it and before he could walk out she tugged his arm making him turn around and she kissed him softly on the lips, "I'll give you a call once it's over."

He smiled down at her, kissing her forehead and walked out. She didn't know what this all meant but she was glad it happened.

* * *

When Lauren arrived at her grandmother's house a pang of guilt wash over her. She had been calm all day thanks to Jake but now that she was alone she felt like shit.

It surprised her when everyone gathered received her with open arms. The housekeeper hugged her and told how her grandmother had been so proud of her and that she mentioned every time she talked about her how much she loved her. Instead of making her feel better it made the guilt come out full force. How could these people treat her with such care and respect when she had all but abandoned her grandmother?

She deserved to rot in hell. She was being a drama queen but it was all she could think about as the people around her hugged her and gave her their condolences.

The service was small and to the point. The minister — Angela Weber's father — gave a short speech and afterwards small refreshments were served. She did her duty as hostess as it was expected and escaped the moment she could.

* * *

Lauren got home a little over eight that night and found the house empty. It didn't surprise her anymore. She wondered if she should call Jake to let him know the service was over but decided against it. She went up to her room and changed into a pair of yoga pants and a sweatshirt. She grabbed a pair of running shoes and her ipod and headed downstairs. She took one of the blazers out of the closet in the foyer and went out the backdoor.

She had stopped running the trail in the woods behind her house once she started hanging out with Leah almost daily. Today she felt she needed to just clear her head.

When she got back to her house it was still empty. She wondered where Annie was hiding this time. She still found a plate of food waiting for her in the counter but she wasn't hungry at all.

After a hot shower she settled on her bed and sent Leah a text telling her that everything went fine and was going to bed early. She debated again on calling Jake; she grabbed her cell and dialed his number. No one answered the phone and she left a message in the answering machine telling him the same things she texted Leah.

Lauren waited for a while to see if she could hear her mother arrive. In the end she was too tired from all the strain she had taken mentally and emotionally and fell asleep shortly.

* * *

When Jake arrived at his house his father was already waiting for him. He had called Billy earlier to let him know what had happened with Lauren and his father told him to stay as long as she needed him.

"How is she taking it?" his father asked from the kitchen. Their house was small. They had moved there a year after his mother passed away. Neither of them could bear all the painful memories their former home brought. Now they lived in a one-story house. It helped a lot with Billy being in a wheelchair and everything. It was very spacious though. They had an extra room for whenever his sisters decided to visit, which was never.

"To well for my liking," Jake said as he remembered the heated kiss they shared. If he didn't know any better he would bet anything that it still hadn't hit Lauren fully that her grandmother was really gone. Oh he knew that she was in pain when he arrived at her house the night before but today she was behaving as if nothing had happened. He didn't know what came over him earlier in her kitchen. They were joking and having fun and then she just looked at him with those big gray eyes of hers and suddenly all he could think about was kissing her. Jake remembered the way her soft lips felt against his and thought about heading back to her house and wait for her to get home.

He had to admit, she was one of the prettiest girls he had ever met. Damn, she was gorgeous. And he would be the luckiest guy in the world if she actually liked him back. Going by that kiss he thought that he was on the right track.

He knew what they said about her and he knew it was just petty jealousy. She was a very kind and intelligent person. He hated seeing her suffer and he could rant and rave all he wanted but once the people in Forks made up their minds it was near impossible to change their opinion. Leah was going through the same thing here in La Push. He understood why they got along so well.

He walked into the kitchen and saw that his dad was already having dinner. He took a plate from one of the cupboards and went over to the stove. He filled his plate and sat in the chair next to his dad.

"What do you think will happen now that Mrs. Mallory's gone?" Billy asked him.

He swallowed and shrugged, "I don't know, Lauren was her only living relative. I guess everything will go to her once she goes to see the lawyer in Port Angeles."

"Damn, I knew they were loaded, but to get everything because her family died is awful."

"Yeah, Lauren wasn't so fond of the idea either. I was thinking of going with her on Monday morning."

"You can't skip school," Billy said sternly, "I know you want to be there for her but school comes first."

"I know, and she actually wants to go alone," Jake said sadly, "Sometimes her pride gets the better of her. Although I'm glad she called last night."

"I know what you mean son."

They finished eating and Jake decided to wash the dishes. Billy told him that Charlie was coming over later to pick him up so they could go to the Swan's house to watch some game.

Jake hadn't thought of Bella much since he saw her again that time at First Beach, she used to visit her dad when she was younger but they hadn't stayed in touch after she stopped visiting Charlie when she was around fourteen. He later heard that she was dating one of the Cullens and at first he was kind of angry. He remembered how she had flirted with him, asking all about the legends of his tribe. He also remembered when his father told him when she went missing and that Sam Uley had found her in the woods behind her house. Other than that Bella was just a passing thought now and then. He still wondered though what would have happened if she hadn't started dating that other guy.

* * *

Jake decided to spend some time in the garage, at this time he would still be at the beach with Lauren but he was at least grateful that he got to spend some time with her today.

He wanted to wait a while before he brought up the subject of the kiss. He wondered if she had kissed him to ease some of the pain. It made him a bit nervous not knowing what it meant. He planned on calling her later that night or early Sunday morning to see how everything with her grandmother's funeral went.

Jake opened the car's hood to check if everything was in order. He was ecstatic that he was almost done repairing the car. He wouldn't have to keep borrowing his dad's car and now that the weather was getting colder he could go visit Lauren in his very own car.

He was so distracted that he didn't hear the roar of a car approaching or the footsteps outside the garage.

"Hi Jacob."

He whirled around jumping slightly, "Bella?"

* * *

Monday morning found Lauren going through her wardrobe in frustration. She hated when she couldn't find anything to wear. It was already eight o'clock and Leah should be arriving any minute. Leah had pestered her all Sunday afternoon after she arrived at her house to let her come along. After all Leah stayed home alone for half the day with nothing better to do. Lauren agreed on the condition that Leah had to drive. They had agreed to take Lauren's car.

She heard the doorbell ring. _Oh she should probably get a job as a psychic_, she thought sarcastically. Lauren heard Leah coming up the stairs. Lauren screamed for her to get in there already.

"What's all the ruckus?" Leah said as she leaned on the doorframe of her closet.

"I don't know what to wear!" she said throwing out a white blouse. Lauren was still in her underwear, she had already tried several outfits and none of them seemed right. Annie was going to have a fit once she saw the condition of Lauren's closet. It looked like a tornado went through it.

"Well Barbie, you have a department store worth of clothes and you don't know what to wear?" Leah let out an earsplitting laugh.

"It's so not funny!" Lauren shrieked, normally she had no problem finding something to wear but today just wasn't her day. She'd had a bad feeling since yesterday and she couldn't pinpoint exactly why and it was translating to her frustration with her wardrobe.

Leah stepped in and pulled a pair of skinny jeans with a white button down blouse with short slightly puffed up sleeves. Lauren took them out of Leah's hands and started getting dressed. She looked at herself in the mirror and then gave Leah a satisfied nod. She pinned up her hair in a lose bun and applied some lip-gloss. Now she was ready to go.

They still had to go all the way to Port Angeles, which Lauren was glad that she had convinced Leah to drive. They headed downstairs to the kitchen where Annie was waiting for them with a tower of pancakes.

Since she'd returned from Leah's house Friday afternoon her appetite has been nonexistent. She ate some just to apace Annie and Jake but sometimes all the food did was make her nauseous.

After they finished eating Lauren went to the foyer to take out a long black coat and a scarf. She was glad that today wasn't raining but the temperature had dropped the night before and was still quite cold outside. Lauren handed Leah her car keys and closed the door behind her.

She had to admit that she was a little nervous. She would give anything to have her grandmother back. She didn't want her money and things if it meant not having her there with her. Her throat tightened a little. She was not about to cry again. She knew Jake thought that she was keeping it all bottled up inside but oh how she had cried when no one was around to see.

Lauren got into the passenger's seat and closed the door. It was going to be a long ride.

* * *

They arrived at Port Angeles just before ten o'clock. They had no problem following the directions Mr. Cutler had given her. They got out of the car and walked into the office. They had speared no expenses with the decoration. It was all done with a minimalist design that made it look very sophisticated. Lauren walked to the front desk and told the secretary that Mr. Cutler was expecting her.

Not five minutes later both Lauren and Leah were seated in white plush leather chairs. The lawyer looked like a no nonsense kind of man. And went right to the point.

"Listen Ms. Mallory, your grandmother left very specific instructions and he named me the executor of her will. I have a list here of all her assets," he handed Lauren a stack of papers with names and numbers.

"I understand that after Mr. Mallory's death he left half his assets to you and half to his wife, with the condition that once she passed away everything would go to you."

Lauren's heart fluttered like it was about to beat out of her chest. What was she going to do with all that stuff? All she had ever wanted was a family and now she had nothing. Money didn't buy that kind of happiness.

"All you have to do is sign this papers. There will be no problem transferring the estate to your name; I expect it will take a month at the most. This will make you the sole heir to your grandparents' estate. There are no conditions or specifications and you'll be happy to hear that there isn't any age limit."

Happy? Why would he think she would be happy over this? God she wanted Jake. He hadn't returned any of her calls and she wanted to give him some space. She didn't want him to start avoiding her. She hadn't told Leah what happened that Saturday afternoon, and until she was sure that there was actually something going on she would keep her mouth shut.

She went ahead and signed all the papers the lawyer kept putting in front of her. When she finished she asked him if he would continue managing the estate.

"That's up to you Ms. Mallory, I've worked for your grandparents since they moved to Forks. I'll be happy to continue doing so."

Lauren gave a jerky nod and shook his hand after standing up. He gave her a bunch of folders that contained all the details of the properties, stock holdings, bank accounts and statements, with the keys to her grandparents' house. He said that she could move in anytime she wanted. He told her that if she had any trouble to give him a call and that he would contact her to let her know when the process was complete.

When they walked out of the office they decided to eat lunch at a restaurant in Port Angeles before heading back to Forks. Both Lauren and Leah were shocked. Her grandmother had left everything to her. Lauren couldn't even imagine the amount of money she had now.

"I'm actually considering moving to my grandparents' house. The only downside would be not seeing Annie. My mother's never home so that's a no brainer."

"Are you sure?" Leah eyed her curiously, "Do you want to live alone in that big ass house?"

Lauren chuckled softly, "Of course not, you can move in with me if you want. It will be only for a short amount of time anyway. After we go off to college I'll probably have to sell it or at the very least shut it down while we're away."

Leah opened and closed her mouth several times. Lauren wanted to pat herself in the back. It was no easy feat to leave Leah speechless.

"What? Are you serious?" Leah rasped out, she cleared her throat and tried again, "Have you lost your mind?"

"Why? Don't you want to live with me?" she giggled, "Your always at my house anyway, will just have to move our stuff in and it's done."

Leah was shaking her head. Was it so hard to believe that she wanted the person she considered a sister to come live with her?

"At least think about it, ok?" Lauren pleaded.

"Alright."

They drove back to Forks in silence, each thinking how this new development could potentially change their lives.

* * *

Lauren's mother was furious with her once she found out that evening her only daughter was planning on moving out of the house. They got into quite the screaming match.

"Why can't I move out? I'm going to college next fall so what if I leave a few months early?" Lauren yelled.

"Because you're a minor, you can't live alone," wow, that was her mother's argument?

"You're never home! I practically live alone anyway!" her voice started to tremble. If only her mother told her that she wanted her there because she was her daughter and loved her or something, she would gladly stay.

"I have to work and you know that!"

"No you don't. You don't have to take double shifts at the hospital because we don't need the money. Even before this happened; my dad left you loaded. So try again."

"I said no and that's final." Her mother was livid.

"You're not the boss of me!" angry tears started pouring down Lauren's face. Her mother was unbelievable. She didn't even try to justify herself.

"You're still under eighteen and until then there's nothing you can do about it."

"See if I care!" Lauren walked out of the first floor study, her mother coming right behind her. Patricia grabbed her arm and whirled her around.

"Don't you dare walk away from me!"

"Or you'll what?" Lauren challenged. Her mother backhanded her right across the face. Lauren's hand went immediately to her face, rubbing her throbbing cheek slightly. She didn't know who was more surprised.

"Lauren I'm so sorry!" her mother tried to hold her. Lauren took a step back and shook her head.

"That's it, I'm done."

She walked up the stairs and went directly to her closet. She found a couple of suitcases and dumped them on the bed. She started tossing clothes out the closet. She was so out of here. She would send someone later to collect the rest of her stuff or come back when her mother was at work. She would miss Annie dearly but anything was better than staying there.

She finished packing and closed the suitcases. She carried them downstairs where her mother was pacing nervously in the foyer right outside her study.

"What are you doing?" her mother's face turned red, "I said you couldn't leave!"

"Don't you dare!" Lauren screamed, "I can go to child services and inform them of what you just did, don't forget I can also tell them that you're never home and that I practically live alone!"

Lauren wouldn't do it but her mother didn't know that. Enough was enough, she was tired of scrapping for love when her mother tried avoiding her at every turn. She couldn't bring herself to beg her mother to love her. That ship had sailed a long time ago.

Lauren opened the closet door in the foyer and took several coats and jackets out, grabbed her car keys and went outside. Perfect, it was raining. There was no better way to set the mood. She dumped the suitcases and coats on the backseat of her car and closed the door.

She turned around and found her mother standing behind her.

"Lauren if you leave this house, so help me, I'll never speak to you again!" her mother was trying to threaten her but at this point all she wanted to do was to get as far away from her as possible.

"Goodbye mother," Lauren replied coldly, "Have a nice life."

She got into the driver's seat, closed the door and started the car. Her heart was breaking, again. Was the pain ever going to stop? She drove until her tears wouldn't let her see where she was going and pulled down the side of the road.

Lauren buried her head in her hands, she was so sick of crying. All she did lately was cry. She used to be untouchable and cold, detached from everyone. Her mother didn't deserve her tears and yet she couldn't will herself to stop. Deep down a part of her still hoped for her mother to love her and maybe she did, in her own twisted way but it wasn't enough, not anymore.

She grabbed her cell from her purse and dialed Jake's number. It rang and rang but no one answered. She wondered if something had happened. Or maybe Jake was in his garage fixing that car of his. She smiled faintly. He had been her rock during all this time. With all the bad things life had thrown at her she finally had something good, great even.

Lauren dried her face with the sleeves of her blouse and started the car again. She'd call Jake later. Right now all she wanted to do was getting to her new house to sleep and forget about everything.

* * *

**A/N: This story is up to 1,500 views! Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and especially to TeamComrade11, gabgzz, alicelover520, lucy, Gemini girl 96 and Edrose for their wonderful reviews. I published another story earlier today, though its a Harry Potter fanfic. If you like go check it out. Thanks. **


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